Is masturbation a 'sin' according to Jewish law?
I am not married, and find it very hard not to engage in this behavior. How would you suggest a single man abstain from masturbating, if it is not permitted?
First, from my limited study of ‘normal’ psychology, and more specifically, of human sexuality, I understand that masturbation is a common, natural, and ‘normal’ activity for most human beings, starting at an early age; it becomes a problem when it is excessive, displaces other normal sexual outlets that may be available, or becomes abusive, compulsive, uncontrollable, or self-destructive. From this perspective, you, as an unmarried healthy male would very likely experience the urge to engage in this form of self-gratification – there is no surprise in that being the case.
Second, Judaism does not see sex as a ‘dirty’ or disgusting subject. Sex is a normal part of life, and when engaged in properly, in the correct setting with the appropriate partner, and with the proper kavanah, it is one of the sublime gifts G-d has provided to humanity, both for procreation and as an expression of deep and meaningful caring, communication, and sharing. So there is nothing about sex, including masturbation as a form of sex, that is forbidden in Judaism.
At the same time, I want to note that the act of masturbation is not approved fully in Judaism; by definition it violates the prohibition on ‘spilling seed’ that exists in historical and traditional Judaism. This is not often a topic of concern within the Reform ambit, so I will leave discussion of it to my colleagues in other movements. Suffice it to say that there are Jews for whom this aspect of the action will be troublesome; the sexual aspect is not the difficulty.
The term ‘sin’ as you have used it is perhaps misleading. In Judaism, we describe behaviors such as this (and most particularly at Yom Kippur – the day of atonement) as ‘missing the mark’, failing to live up to our highest ideals and self-aspirations. There is no assumption in Judaism that we always succeed in reaching our aspirational goals, but it is up to us to do our best to strive for them, and constantly to try to improve on how close we approach them over time.
In this view, masturbation is not a ‘sin’ as that is understood, but rather an action that is not reflective of the highest ideals we may hold. It does not render the person engaging in this action ‘unclean’, ‘tainted’, or ‘unfit’ in any way, and should not lead to any shaming, shunning, or self-abnegation. From a Reform perspective, it is not prohibited, ‘sinful’, or ‘dirty,’ and would be seen as a normal, healthy, and even acceptable behavior in which an unmarried person might engage in private.
If you wish to try to avoid engaging in this action, there is no sure-fire way I can offer, but some suggestions are to avoid materials and situations (movies, magazines, books, suggestive locations, sexually stimulating topics of conversation, etc.) that tend to prompt you to think in terms of this behavior; find things that you enjoy and value to do and keep yourself busy and productive; treat yourself well by eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and avoiding alcohol (and, it goes without saying, drugs). When the urge arises (and it almost certainly will), do your best to hold off; the more you can prevent yourself from engaging in the behavior, the easier the process is likely to become. Eventually, this will likely resolve itself as you come to a point in your life where you will meet an appropriate mate.
Is masturbation a 'sin' according to Jewish law? I am not married, and find it very hard not to engage in this behavior. How would you suggest a single man abstain from masturbating, if it is not permitted?
Naturally, there are different categories of sin in Judaism. Basically, we are speaking here of an “issur”—a prohibition.
We look to the Toraitic sources as well as Rabbinic sources in order to understand why masturbation is a prohibition.
The major source for the subject of masturbation in Judaism is found in the very first book of the Torah, the Book of Genesis—Sefer Bereishit in the 38th chapter.
There the Torah is dealing with the subject of Judah, his sons and his daughter-in-law Tamar. The question is of levirate marriage whereby a male dies without offspring and his wife is given to another brother as a quasi wife to produce offspring in the name of the deceased brother.
This is a very large subject in Rabbinic Judaism and to be found elsewhere in Scripture and the Talmud.
In our major source, the Torah says, “Judah said to Onan, ‘Marry your brother's wife, and thus fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her. You will then raise children to keep your brother’s [name] alive.’ Onan, however, realized that the children would not carry his name. Therefore, whenever he came to his brother’s wife, he let [the seed] go to waste on the ground, so as not to have children in his brother’s name. What he did was evil in God's eyes, and He also made him die.” (Genesis 38:8-10)
The name Onan is tied inextricably to this act of “hash-ha-tat zera—wanton destruction of semen.” Even in the English language masturbation is termed onanism.
For the most part, Rabbinic sources understand Onan’s act as masturbation.
Rashi in the 11th century when commenting on our Torah verses explains Onan’s act not as masturbation rather as, “he wasted [his semen] on the ground: He practiced coitus interruptus. “ He bases his commentary on the Midrash in Genesis Rabba.
Whether “hash-ha-tat zera—wonton destruction of semen” is defined as masturbation or coitus interruptus, the act is forbidden.
Let us look briefly at the very popular Code of Jewish Law, known as the Kitzur Shulhan Arukh by Rabbi Solomon Ganzfried. Since this book is often looked to by religiously observant Jews, especially Ashkenazic Jews, for normative halakhic answers, it is instructive to see what it has to say about this matter. It should be stated that this book is not necessarily the last word on all subjects in Jewish Law, but it is much respected.
Rabbi Ganzfried devotes an entire chapter of seven sections to the subject –The Prohibition Against Discharging Semen in Vain.
I shall only quote briefly from the first two sections of Chapter 151.
“It is forbidden to discharge semen in vain. This sin is more severe than any of the other prohibitions of the Torah. Those who masturbate and thus discharge semen in vain not only violate a severe prohibition, but also should be place under a ban of ostracism….” (Section 1)
“It is forbidden for a person to voluntarily cause himself to have an erection or to cause himself to think about women….” Section 2)
Certainly, these quotations and those which follow in this work and numerous others are in open conflict with popular psychological trends and the idea that what I do in the privacy of my own home as an adult that does infringe upon the rights of others should be permitted.
Such popular thinking, while comforting, is at variance with the Jewish concepts of sin or as we say, “issur v’heter—forbidden and permitted.”
That said, the Rabbinic approach is to appoint for one’s self a “Rav—Rabbi.” The purpose of this, certainly in such an instance, is to speak to one who you respect for their knowledge, piety and compassion. One who knows you and your real life situation. Oftentimes, a sincere and knowledgeable Rabbi can work with a person and find a way of dealing with how an aspect of halakhah—Jewish Law applies in a particular situation for a particular person.
Addendum:
While I do not generally answer comments on my online responses, I do have an acquaintance that raised some issues about this response on masturbation in Jewish Law. I will give herewith the gist of what I wrote him about his concerns, especially as they related to the “extreme” position taken by the author of the Kitzur Shulkah Arukh code:
I totally agree with you, especially about the subject of the position of the Kitzur Shulkhan Arukh. It is extreme in its positions, especially in the sexual realm.
It is interesting to note, that it is the first halakhic work to be translated into English and made widely available to the English speaking public by the Hebrew Publishing Company.
It also is the first book that I read from cover to cover when reentering the halakhic world.
My purpose was not to give a heter (permission) or pesak (a decision) to an individual, but rather to show that this subject, as all other subjects, is dealt within the Jewish sources, and not always with a permissive decision.
I believe that this is a private matter, but as with everything in Torah, there is no real concept of privacy in a modern sense. Things that are forbidden are not permitted within one's hadar hadarim (inner sanctum).
While I would not recommend the "Kitzur" as the one and only sefer halakhah (book of Jewish Law), I feel that it is more often than not in Oreh Haim (daily life) type matters, normative within much of Ashkenazic Jewry.
To say that masturbation is the "worst sin in the Torah" is obviously written for the sake of scaring someone, but not rooted in the sources that I know of. I recommended that the individual develop a relationship with a Rav who can deal sensitively in giving direction. My dearest friend growing up in Chicago told me, that anyone denying masturbation is a liar. It was told in the form of a joke, but I believe it to be basically true.
Within the context of a short written response, it is impossible to say it all.
I do not know what the Baal HaKitzur (author of the code) was writing about pertaining to ostracism.
I looked into a Sephardic edition, adding Sephardic minhag to the Kitzur and it did not have any comment at that point.
Allow me to venture that the sexual presentation of the Kitzur was more about creating a sense of Kedushah (sanctity) by appealing to a sense of refraining from permissiveness (perishut) and less about the actual halakhot (laws) involved in prior source materials and tradition.
Is masturbation a 'sin' according to Jewish law? I am not married, and find it very hard not to engage in this behavior. How would you suggest a single man abstain from masturbating, if it is not permitted?
I would say that this is not the kind of question that can be fully addressed in this rather impersonal forum. It may be helpful to know what the Jewish tradition has to say about masturbation, but advice regarding what to do with that information should be provided in a more modest venue. I would encourage you to consult with a rabbi familiar with the evolution of the Jewish tradition’s approach to this matter.
There is no question that traditional Judaism frowns on masturbation. Throughout history, rabbinic authorities raised a host of concerns regarding it – without, though, locating a secure biblical basis for the prohibition. The biblical story of Onan’s “waste of seed” (Genesis 38) served as a powerful anchor for traditional Jewish society’s disapproval of masturbation -- though Onan’s sin was seen to be his unwillingness to sire a son in his brother’s name, not the particular means he chose to refrain from doing so. Masturbation was seen as an example of excessive sexual activity, which rabbinic authorities such as Maimonides considered bad for one’s health, and the Jewish mystical tradition understood masturbation to have dangerous cosmic consequences.
As Rabbi Elliot Dorff points out in his book, Matters of Life and Death: A Jewish Approach to Modern Medical Ethics, pp.116-120 (Philadelphia: JPS, 1998), liberal Jews today largely ignore or reject the traditional prohibition, for several reasons. First, they see no evidence that masturbation has the deleterious medical consequences that our ancestors believed it did. Second, few accept the Jewish mystical tradition’s depiction of its dire results. Finally, notwithstanding a certain hesitation toward expressing outright approval, many today think of it as an understandable, normal, and not immoral means of discharging sexual tension.
Rabbi Elliot Dorff concludes his discussion of this topic by saying, “Masturbation in and of itself … should no longer carry the opprobrium it had for our ancestors.”
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