Question: In the Torah parsha (selection for reading) Yitro, the Torah tells us that Jethro took Moses' wife, Tziporah and their two sons, and sent them home. I once heard a teacher explain in a homiletical way that this was an example of Moses being a bad father. Is there other evidence to support this? Is there evidence to support the opposite?
Like many of the stories and passages from the Torah, it is all a matter of one’s own interpretation. The tradition says that there are 70 faces to Torah as a way of teaching us that there are any number of ways to understand the words of the text (not literally just 70!). One can learn of Moses’ sending away his wife and children as “evidence” of his being a bad father, as seemingly abdicating his responsibility to care for them in favor of his work for the people. From this perspective, Moses is no different from the modern parent who is “married” to his job, a workaholic, with no time to take care of his family. On the other hand, perhaps Moses is actually being a good father, by shielding his family from some of the challenges and, dare I say, ugliness we see from the Israelites, that he is forced to tolerate and work through in his sacred role. Perhaps keeping a very clear boundary between his “work” and “home” life can be seen as a positive. Furthermore, we may infer that everything Moses does, even including his family decisions, is indeed commanded by God, even though it does not say so directly in the text. And maybe, lastly, depending on where the reader is when s/he confronts and studies this passage, one may see all of the above, and then even something else, all at the same time! That is precisely the beauty and wonder of Torah!
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Question: I recently received an inquiry about serving as a sperm donor for an infertile couple. Is it a Mitzvah to do so? What do Jewish traditions, thought, and values advise on this matter?
Yes, it would be considered a mitzvah to be a sperm donor for a couple not unable to have children on their own. Considered to be the first mitzvah (commandment) in the Torah is P’ru Ur’vu, usually translated as “be fruitful and multiply.” This commandment was given to Adam, the first human being, several generations before Abraham, the first Jew, came along. As such, it stands to reason that all humanity has been commanded to have children. If the couple desires to, but is unable to do so, and you are able to help them fulfill that commandment and achieve that goal, then it is absolutely a mitzvah.
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Question: Is Non-Dairy Vegan 'cheese' Parve? Can you mix Non-Dairy Vegan Cheese with meat and have it considered kosher?
Yes. As long as there is nothing in the ingredients that is a dairy product, then it is not considered dairy, even if it is a dairy substitute. If it is truly vegan and without any dairy products in the ingredients, then it is pareve, and can thereby be considered kosher. There is the concept of mar’eit ayin, concerning perception and how certain things appear to others. In that regard, I am sure there are many who would say this practice should be avoided, particularly in public, as a passerby is unlikely to know whether the “cheese” product on the meat is actually non-dairy vegan, and thereby think you are breaking kashrut. But in the strictest sense of the Torah laws and halacha, as long as the product is not dairy in any way, it can be mixed with meat and still be within the bounds of kashrut.
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Question: My BF, a chaplain for hospice (a Presbyterian minister) and I have just done our DNA. There are Jewish genetic lines, on both sides for me, but the remarkable thing was my BF was reported as Ashkenazi on his father's side. I am a Reform Jew so to me that makes him Jewish if he has Jewish genes. Funny thing is that my son's father (Catholic Spanish) also came up Ashkenazi. They are under the J line same as my own father. So, is he a Jew?
According to halachah, normative Jewish law, one is Jewish if and only if his mother is Jewish. This is referred to as ‘matrilineal descent’ and was likely because they only knew the mother of a child for sure, in the days before paternity testing. The Reform Movement adopted some years ago the acceptance of ‘patrilineal descent,’ meaning essentially that if someone has either a Jewish mother or Jewish father and that person was raised as a Jew, the Reform Movement accepts that person as a Jew. Genetic studies are and will continue to be fascinating. But in and of themselves, they have little, if anything at all, to do with determining if a child is Jewish.
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Question: Why are sesame seeds considered kitniyot (not acceptable for Passover for Ashkenazim)? They are not related in any way to beans or cereals and nobody makes flour out of sesame.
It seems that there are two Jewish principles considered here regarding this subject matter. The first is known as mar’eit ayin, which literally means the “appearance to the eye,” as in, the perception of customs and behavior by others. It is of tremendous importance in a world where “perception is reality,” as people say. The concern with sesame seeds, as for many other foods placed in the category of kitniyot, is that, even though the foods themselves may not be directly connected to foods that are explicitly forbidden, they may appear to someone, i.e. someone may see the food and think that it is a forbidden food.
The second principle here is the Talmudic concept of siyag l’Torah, literally meaning “a fence around the Torah.” This concept is, essentially, erring on the side of caution. If there is a case or circumstance—in this case a food item—that one is unsure of its official status, and/or that a passerby may be questioning or doubting as to its legality, then we build a “fence” around the law and place it squarely in the category of “forbidden,” as it is better to abstain from something questionable rather than partake of it. Thus, especially in the Ashkenazi traditions and customs, you will find that most interpretations fall on the side of a stricter reading, so as to prevent people from unintentionally breaking any halakhah.
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Question: Can one have an unveiling (of the monument) after the first yartzheit (year anniversary)?
According to Isaac Klein, in his book A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice (Jewish Theological Seminary of America, 1979):
The usual practice is to erect the tombstone no sooner than one year after the death, since to do it earlier would be an indication that the memory of the deceased is fading and artificial means are required to revive it…In Western European countries and in America, it has become the custom to “consecrate” the tombstone with a service. Since in America the tombstone is covered with a cloth, which is removed by the family during the service, the ritual has been called the “unveiling.”
The unveiling usually takes place twelve months after the death. While there is no traditional basis for this service, except for custom of visiting the grave on the day of Yahrzeit, it is now an accepted and meaningful practice. It offers additional opportunity for the officiant to pay tribute to the deceased as well as to speak to the living about the meaning of life and death. Participants should take care to insure that the unveiling does not become a social event.
Alfred J. Kolatch, in his book Inside Judaism (Jonathan David Publishers, 2006), writes the following:
Although monuments have been erected over graves for many centuries, the custom of conducting a special unveiling ceremony was instituted toward the end of the nineteenth century in England and later in the United States to formalize and dignify the erection of the monument. The British use the term “tombstone consecration,” whereas Americans have adopted the term “unveiling.”
There is no religious obligation that an unveiling be held, and it is not necessary that a rabbi officiate. Anyone able to recite the selected psalms and deliver a eulogy, if one is desired, may conduct the ceremony.
Although an unveiling may be held at any time after the monument has been erected, most families wait about one year so as to give the earth a chance to settle.
Based on the above explanations—namely, that unveiling is a custom rather than halakhic (decreed by normative Jewish law), and a relatively recent custom at that—it would seem to me that an unveiling may be done at almost any time when the surviving family members deem it an appropriate time, and one in which everyone whom they would like to be in attendance can attend.
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Question: I have been curious about what happens when a Jew decides that Jesus is the "messiah", or accepts any other religion. Does he/she immediately became Christian or something else, and stop being a Jew? I think it is a confusing topic and I was hoping someone could explain please.
While Judaism has long focused more on “deed than creed,” i.e. actions and lifestyle over any religious tenets or dogmatic beliefs, one of the fundamental differences in Jewish and Christian beliefs regard the concept of the messiah. The word “messiah” comes from the Hebrew word mashiach, meaning the “anointed one, who is generally regarded as the one who will bring about a messianic age of peace on earth for all of God’s creatures. For Christians, Jesus of Nazareth is “Christ,” a Greek translation of mashiach, or “messiah.” As Jesus has already come once to earth, the belief of Christians regarding the messiah is one of hoping for Jesus to return to earth. This where the term and subsequent expressions regarding “the second coming” come from. In Jewish belief, the messiah has not yet come, and so we are waiting and hoping for him/her to visit us the one and only time it would be necessary.
While many Jews proclaim themselves atheists or agnostics, and many others hope more for a “messianic age” rather than the coming of a singular messiah, this is an area of very stark contrast in traditional belief between Judaism and Christianity. As such, if one has accepted Jesus as a personal savior and messiah, that person has formally parted ways with Judaism and is now a Christian.
In the eyes of the Sages of the Talmud, it is much harder to become a Jew if one wasn’t than it is to come back to Judaism. That is to say that Jewish practice creates many more levels and figurative hoops to jump through in order to convert to Judaism than it does barriers to return. If one forsakes Judaism for another faith, but later decides to “return” to Judaism, that person does not need to undergo a formal conversion process. But for as long as the person has accepted Jesus or any deity other than the Eternal as their God, that person would not be considered Jewish.
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