What a nice question!  There are not many *required* roles for parents/in-laws at Jewish weddings.  There are 3 customs, though, that you can certainly partake in, even if you are not Jewish.

 

1) You can walk him down the aisle.  No one will ever forget your doing that.

2) You can give him a blessing just before the Chuppah ceremony.  This does not have to be in Hebrew.  It is typically a private blessing from parent to child done off to the side before everyone walks down the aisle.

3) Finally, if it is a very traditional ceremony, they might want to do what is called the "Tenaim" ceremony.  You can read more here:  http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/476750/jewish/Tnaim-Engagement-Agreements.htm  .  There is a role for the mother in this context and you can certainly fill that role (even if you are not Jewish).

 

Mazal tov!

 

More questions?  Be in touch - Rabbi Eytan Hammerman, Harrison NY

 

Hello!

 

A great question.  In short, I would say, yes, lighting candles in a home, any home (Jewish home, Christian home, shared home) , is fine - even if there is a Christmas tree present in the room.

 

I would hope that the couple, though, would look at their respective ritual items as belonging to one of them, not as shared possessions.  That is, the tree would be "his" and the menorah "hers."  Otherwise, the bluring between religions is too much.  Each religion should have its **own** symbols - and I see nothing wrong with them sharing a room.  In fact, I know of many synagogues and churches who share a sacred space (Saturdays for the Jews, Sundays the Christians) - so why not objects, too?  Don't put the menorah under the tree, though!

 

By the way - your use of the word "kosher" is correct in how "kosher" has come into our modern use.  However, kosher is really just about the traditional Jewish laws around food.

 

Warm wishes,

 

Rabbi Eytan Hammerman

 

Shiva is observed by Jewish individuals - regardless of whom they may be mourning.  As you are Jewish, your congregation should absolutely recognize your loss, just as they would any loss by a member of the community.  Shiva is observed in exactly the same manner.  

 

Rabbi Eytan Hammerman,

Jewish Community Center of Harrison