All Questions Answered by Rabbi Mark Asher Goodman
Question: What do you do when your job requires you to promote non-Jewish holidays such as Christmas or Valentines day? Should you sell things that promote these holidays? If say you work for the media should you write on the topic if your boss asks you to?
What do you do when your job requires you to promote non-Jewish holidays such as Christmas or Valentines day? Should you sell things that promote these holidays? If say you work for the media should you write on the topic if your boss asks you to?
There are two straight-forward legal principles that guide the answer to this question.
The first is a concept called ‘hana’ah’ - deriving benefit from something a Jew is not supposed to engage in. Hana’ah is the reason why a Jew may neither eat pork nor open a bacon store, even if he doesn’t engage in the eating himself.
The second is a concept called ‘morit ayin’ - creating a misleading impression of impropriety that might lead another astray. That is why a Jew may not wear a kippah when they go to McDonalds, lest another Jew see them and mistakenly think that McDonalds now serves kosher hamburgers.
But the complication regarding non-Jewish holidays is that some are ok to celebrate, like American Independence Day and Thanksgiving, while others are clearly forbidden, like Easter. In the middle are holidays like St Patricks Day, Halloween, Valentines Day, and even Christmas. These holidays are clearly celebrated by many in a secular manner; even non-religious Christians ‘celebrate’ Christmas with presents and a tree, but minus the Jesus.
If a Jew works for a store that sells Christmas cards as an employee, they don’t specifically derive benefit from the sale of the cards, nor does the sale of Christmas cards imply that the seller is a Christian. A Jew that works at a supermarket sells lots of products to lots of customers, and earns no specific profit from any products, so they can sell bacon without any worry of a violation of a Jewish precept. However, if the Jew selling the cards that are specifically religious in nature or the Jew selling the bacon owns the store, they may both give an incorrect impression and also may run afoul of the ‘benefit/hana’ah’ concept.
Your question seems pretty specific to the first case - one in which you are an employee. I see no problem at all with selling items - even religious items - or writing articles, or creating promotional materials, etc. In fact, in some respect, it is laudable. You, a Jew, comfortably aid others in the practice of a religion that you yourself don’t practice. That is quite commendable, and very American.
In fact, one of the most popular American Christmas songs in history, ‘White Christmas’, was penned by none other than Irving Berlin, a Jew. The song didn’t lead anyone to believe that Berlin had compromised his faith, nor did Berlin being Jewish harm the song’s success among non-Jews. Berlin directly derived benefit from the song for sure, yet the song doesn’t make any overt references to religious practice of Christmas. If I had been Berlin’s rabbi - first of all, that would have been awesome - and second of all, I would have thought it would have been fine to write that song.
So go and do your job without hesitation, and serve the customer's needs to the best of your ability.
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Question: What are the Jewish values surrounding the "Right to be Forgotten," developed in Argentina? Should we have to perpetually face the consequences of an action even if it is out of date or far in the past?
What are the Jewish values surrounding the "Right to be Forgotten," developed in Argentina? Should we have to perpetually face the consequences of an action even if it is out of date or far in the past?
The question is, if I am not mistaken, based on a law that a person has the right to request that a negative report, incident, or embarrassment may be requested to be scrubbed from the internet.
The latter is a clear directive in Jewish law. Leviticus 19:16 directs us not to ‘go about a talebearer’, i.e. do not spread dishonesty. The verse continues to state that a person should also not idly stand by the blood of his or her neighbor. The Talmud states that the proximity of the two verses is intentional: one who slanders his fellow, it is as if they spilled their blood (Bava Metzia 58a). So it is clear that not only should Google remove false and defamatory information from the internet: they do a mitzvah be removing it.
However, the former; that is, removing information from the internet that is irrelevant or outdated; is a subjective standard. Should Google remove a photo of a person drunk or doing drugs in one’s youth? Does a potential employer have the right to know that you were irresponsible when you were young? Or do you have the right to force Google to hide that ‘memory’ from everyone?
Google is operating as an arbiter of fairness. The Jewish standard for this is the idea of forgiveness is Rambam Hilchot Teshuvah, the ‘laws of repentance’. In this text, Rambam lays out that a person must do several to be forgiven: ask the individual they offended for forgiveness, ask for ablution from God at Yom Kippur, and (possibly most importantly in our situation) prove they have changed their ways. If a person is still making the poor decisions, (adultery, drug abuse, hurtful speech, etc.) is Google capable of knowing? I suppose a person can still have allegations made by third parties in the near term that will continue to be relevant.
The ongoing case of Marc Gafni is instructive. Gafni has a history of sexual misconduct going back several decades at multiple Jewish institutions. What if he applied for, and was granted, the right to have older misdeeds scrubbed? What if the result was his appointment to a position in which he sexually harassed or abused another person? A grave error would have occured, because the truth would have been obscured. There's no indication that Google has clear guidelines to avoid this from happening. And if an organzation wants to hire or not hire Mr. Gafni, they have the right to make that decision based on the truth, regardless of whether it occured last week or two decades ago. The Torah teaches us 'Write what is honest those words that are true' (Eccles. 12:10).
Google, as a business, is not in a particularly good position to make these judgements about who and what deserves to be forgotten. In theory, it could become a very lucrative business: any crime or misdeed can be removed for the right price. the inherent conflict of interest for Google makes them a poor choice as the final decider of these important and difficult moral choices.
Judaism believes in forgiveness. It believes that people can change. It also believes in truth, and that discerning individuals can decide for themselves whether an embarrassing mistake from a decade ago is still relevant. I don’t think Judaism would affirm the current version of the ‘right to be forgotten’. One must be careful and moral in deciding what gets scrubbed from the internet, and Google probably isn’t the right organization to make that judgement.
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Question: I am interested in converting to Judaism. While I currently have no friends or family who are Jewish, I have been doing quite a bit of personal study, while praying to G-d for discernment on the matter, and feel deeply that this is the right choice for myself and my family. My husband is very supportive and has agreed for our family to live a Jewish lifestyle, he would like to learn more before making the decision to convert himself. I have two questions. First, is it possible for myself and our son (he is 4) to convert, with my husband's blessing, if my husband does not choose to as well? Second, there are only 2 synagogues in my area, both of which are at least a 40 minute drive from our home. One is conservative, the other reform. The nearest orthodox synagogue is about 2 hours away. Is it possible to receive our instructing of Judaism in a conservative synagogue, but the actual conversion (mikvah and so forth) in the orthodox one due to proximity reasons? I hope that makes sense.
It is certainly wonderful that you have found spiritual meaning and personal relevance in Judaism, and I welcome you to the beginning of the conversion process. It is an amazing time in someone’s life. As a rabbi, working with individuals on the path to conversion has always been personally inspiring for me- I can only imagine how exciting it is for you. To answer your questions:
Yes, you and your son may convert even though your husband will not be converting. While it is complicated to be creating a family which no longer shares the same religious convictions, Conservative Judaism recognizes that an individual’s spiritual path is not dependant on the participation of others. As long as your husband is supportive and willing to allow you to live Jewishly, by observing Shabbat, keeping kosher, observing holidays and (most importantly) raising your son to be Jewish, you should proceed with your conversion. In order to navigate this potentially complicated path though, you and your husband should meet with a local rabbi for direction and assistance. For more on the logic of this ruling, the eminent rabbinic scholar, Rabbi Ben Zion Bergman wrote of conversions in which the spouse remains of the previous faith back in 1993, which is posted in this link below. http://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/bergman_unconverted.pdf
In short, the answer is no. If you take classes with a Reform rabbi, you will convert under the authority and through the rituals of that rabbi; so too for a Conservative rabbi; so too for an Orthodox rabbi. Some special circumstances may apply. Here in Denver Colorado, the Reform and Conservative streams of Judaism operate a joint conversion class and ritual process called the Community Conversion Board. Until 1984, all three streams of Judaism, Reform, Conservative and Orthodox, collaborated on this process together. However, in most communities, you will take classes and meet with a rabbi from a given movement and be converted under the auspices of that movement. Where you pray after your conversion, though, will be entirely up to you- your conversion does not bind you to that movement for life.
In the event you begin attending another synagogue, you should be aware that the three major movements are not entirely aligned regarding conversions. The Reform movement recognizes Conservative and Orthodox conversions. Most but not all Reform conversions are accepted by Conservative synagogues. Orthodox communities generally do not accept Reform and Conservative conversions. Also note that the three movements have different attitudes on driving to synagogue on Shabbat. It is permitted according to the Reform and Conservative movements, but not by Orthodox standards.
All of these questions, in addition to the guidance I have provided, should be elaborated on by a sponsoring rabbi for conversion. Best wishes and blessings on your journey.
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Question: Dear Rabbis,
I want to ask about the concept of resurrection.
Although it is not clearly stated or described in the Torah, the afterlife and resurrection of the dead has held an important position in (some of, at some times) Jewish belief and thought.
We know that some people die very young, and some very old, many in a very bad physical condition, unable to walk etc.
According to Jewish thought, in what condition will resurrection take place (if it does)?
Will someone be resurrected as an age 95 year old person who is unable to walk and disabled, or will it be as one in the full power of their youth, etc.?
Thank you in advance for your answer.
The trouble with a 4,000 year old tradition is that we collect an awful lot of things: rules, traditions, theologies, etc.; but rarely if ever jettison any of the old. That is normally a very good thing- it leads to deep thought and wisdom and a myriad of possibilities on many issues. With the afterlife, though, it can be a bit of mess. That does allow Jews, though, to choose from a range of possibilities.
Judaism, first and foremost, is a religion for this life, and not the next one. Our religion and its practices focus the individual on observing laws and living ones life in a moral and intentional way in order that this life be happy and meaningful. Shabbat, prayer, mitzvot, Torah study, and ethical eating practices are all about the here and now, and are not focused on earning a reward that will be paid upon one’s demise.
However, we all die, and Jewish eschatology (end-of-days theology) does exist. As I mentioned in my introduction, though, it is a hodgepodge of years of accumulated traditions, which often do not agree with one another.
The first biblical view is mentioned in conjunction with Abraham, who tells his children he will ‘go down to Sheol’ (Genesis 37:35), some kind of subterranean netherworld, according to some biblical scholars. This is likely some kind of eternal purgatory, neither good nor bad, and does not include a return trip at any point.
The second biblical view, which you refer to in your question, is Ezekiel’s vision of the valley of dry bones, being reanimated at the end of days (Ezekiel 37:1-14). The righteous will return after death, and their bodies will be functional again. Jews today may or may not believe this, by and large. However, it is for this reason that Jewish burial organizations like ZAKA care very much that every part of a Jew is buried together in a funeral plot. Jewish mortuaries are well accustomed to preserving the limbs of amputees so that their parts may be interred together with the rest of their body: the belief is that when the righteous return to life at the end of days, the severed limb will be joined to its body. Whether the person is young and vital or old and less active, though, is not an answer or comment I have seen in Jewish sources- you are free to imagine as you wish. Although Jews put the effort into observing these rituals, it is also due to the Jewish view of ‘kavod haMet’; respect for the dead, and is also the reason why Jewish tradition requires burial, and not cremation. Therefore, the Jewish efforts in gathering all the parts of a deceased person for burial does not necessary imply that Jews are sure there will be a resurrection.
Two post-biblical views of afterlife exist as well. First, the Talmud, and subsequently the Hasidic tradition, discusses the notion of ‘Olam HaBa’ - the world to come. It is stated in the Talmud that there is some kind of heaven-like place for the righteous; for the wicked, there is nothing. Hassidic teachings about Olam HaBa make it a place of Torah learning, all the time. It is not a place where a corporeal body is needed. Second, the Kabbalistic tradition records the idea of ‘gilgul haNefesh’- reincarnation. Your soul is reborn after death into the body of another person.
Lastly, it is entirely possible that none of these is what happens when we die. The energy that is within us is recycled into the universe in some way we cannot understand. We are a part of everything, and God, forever after. This view fits nicely with a Reconstructionist view of God, if that’s your thing.
My advice, though, is to pour a nice glass of wine, enjoy your friends and family, and live a good life in the present. Those are things you can know, understand, and enjoy for certain.
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Question: I was brought up in a secular Jewish home. My grandparents were victims of the Holocaust. We celebrated the major holidays in a non-reigious way but with deep attachment to our Jewish identity, and perpetuating our family traditions. Can I consider myself Jewish in the full sense of the term?
The answer is: you are Jewish. Judaism is defined primarily by birth. If your mother is Jewish, according to Jewish legal opinion, you are a Jew. You are a Jew 'in the full sense of the term.'
However, being Jewish goes far beyond your birth status- Judaism is a system of practices, actions, and beliefs. 'Doing Jewish' is as much an important determinant of how a Jew is defined as 'being Jewish' or 'feeling Jewish.' While the occasional pastrami sandwich, Woody Allen film, and self-depricating joke may be hallmarks of American Jewish culture, it is meaningful acts within the Jewish community, such as tzedakah (charity), Gimilut Hassadim (acts of volunteerism or good deeds towards those in need) prayer, Shabbat, trips to Israel, Jewish study, and observing some or all of dietary laws of kashrut, to name a few, that define who you are.
It is convenient that you ask this question only a few days following the release of the latest survey of the American Jewish community was released this week. The findings (here at the NY Times, longer results at the Jewish Daily Forward) reveal that more and more Jews in America are like you- secular and culurally Jewish in nature. This, however, has the result of younger Jews becoming non-religious, and often not raising their children to be Jewish. 58% of American Jews are intermarried. 22% of intermarried Jews raise their children to be Jewish. My point is, statistically speaking, a secular Jewish life may make you Jewish, but it may have real consequences for your children and your grandchildren. Take of that what you will.
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Question: Do varying Jewish perspectives on Revelation exist? Can one see Revelation as a human response to an event that defies a simple explanation? Where does rabbinic response or mediation create a contemporary response? What would these varying ideas imply as to how one lives their life?
I would say that the many Jewish perspectives on revelation makes up the defining question for a Jewish persons relationship to God and Torah. Therefore my answer is going to be woefully inadequate. My suggestion is to pick up Neil Gilman’s ‘Sacred Fragments’, which covers the many perspectives in depth. Abraham Joshua Heschel, Elliott Dorff and Mordechai Kaplan are three eminent writers in the Conservative Jewish world that write extensively on this topic as well.
Putting it simply, you have three choices.
1) You believe that God gave the Torah at Sinai, including the ‘Oral Law’ known as the Talmud. This gives both the Oral and Written Torahs absolute Divine authority. This is the Orthodox position. There is some variation and nuance to the degree of certainty and how that impacts the observance of commandments, but for the most part it leads to a religion that evolves very little and hews towards tradition first and foremost.
2) You believe that God and the people Israel met at Sinai. Something happened. Either most, some, or none of the Torah was written at Sinai. If most or some was written, the Written and Oral Torahs have authority, but the potential for human involvement or editing in the document allows that some changes can be made through time. This is a position in the Conservative movement, and allows for changes to the law to a greater degree than in Orthodoxy. Some examples of this include the more full inclusion of women in Jewish rituals and leadership, and a changing attitude towards homosexuality; i.e. both of these things were written 3000 years ago by men, not God, and therefore the opinions offered are not God’s word, and can be changed.
If none of the Torah was written at Sinai, then Torah is a reflection of the profound meeting of Israel and God at Mt. Sinai. It is a human written document that reflects a Divine encounter, giving it deep meaning, but a meaning that is not unchangeable. This position is a Reform and Conservative opinion on revelation. The ‘most, some and none’ views described above mean that the law should be preserved and ‘conserved’ (hence, Conservative Judaism), unless there is a compelling reason to change the law.
3) Humans encountered God at Sinai in some manner. However, the Torah was written by humans at a later date. Those humans wrote a ‘Divinely inspired’ text, but as time goes on, different humans interpret and re-interpret God for their own time periods. This is a concept known as ‘progressive revelation’- that God reveals God’s-self in an ongoing manner. The Torah is then a moral document to be interpreted, but the ‘spirit of the law’ is more important than the ‘letter of the law’. This is a Reform view of revelation, and it leads to the belief that Judaism not only can be changed for contemporary times- it should be changed for a modern audience. Hence the term ‘Reform Judaism’.
Each of these philosophies of revelation has profound meanings for how an individual lives their life, from Shabbat to keeping kosher, holidays, marriage and even one’s very moral beliefs. For more on that, consult your local rabbi or library.
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Question: In Megillat Esther, do we learn that a Jewish woman can utilize her G-d given charm and beauty for a good cause?
The ruchani (spiritual) part of me says that the lesson of the book of Esther is that all of our positive attributes; our wit, intelligence, beauty or our dedication; all can be utilized in the service of God. This elevation of the mundane, such as our good looks, seems like a lovely way to remind us that we can serve God in many ways.
However.
The intellectual, modern, feminist side of me rejects this notion. A woman forced into using her attractiveness to fool a buffoonish and misogynist king in order to save the Jews of Persia sends an ugly message. Namely, that Judaism condones gender stereotypes, and that playing by the rules of those stereotypes ultimately vindicates us from destruction. As it says “Let fair young virgins be sought for the king… and let the girl who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti.” (Esther 2:3) The text goes on to describe the way the women endure six months of beauty treatments and then ‘audition’ for the king. The text might be read by some, then, to imply that it is a Jewish belief that a woman is an object of beauty only. To our tradition’s credit, a number of commentators take pains to describe Esther’s beauty as spiritual in nature, but the pshat (on-the-face) read is clear- Esther is attractive, and that’s how she succeeds.
Our society objectifies women at an alarming rate. American media, from magazine covers to television stars, are selling a one-size-fits-all notion of beauty. Society idealizes pretty and thin in women, strong and fit in men; the outward appearance over the inward substance. Society often tells us that youth and beauty are the most important attributes for success in the modern age.
Judaism is whole-heartedly opposed to this notion.
I do think Esther is a hero for her guileful rescue of the Jews from catastrophe. I do think there is great Torah to be learned from the book of Esther and its commentaries. But no, I don’t think the message is or should be that Judaism affirms using charm and beauty above more noble attributes, like wisdom, skill, and goodness.
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Question: My son married a woman who converted to Judaism through the London Beth Din. She now refuses to follow any Jewish practice. Is her conversion still valid?
They have a baby boy who is now a year and a half; will he be considered Jewish?
By the way she forbids me to have any contact with the child. She is highly unstable and also prevents my son from having any contact with me or his brothers.
I am in regular email contact with him. We are a shomer mitzvot family, though I doubt my son keeps anything now.
First of all, it sounds like this situation is causing significant personal pain for you and your family. Judaism regards the extended family unit as holy, and deeply important to the wellbeing of the child- l’dor v’dor, from generation to generation. I hope and pray that you, your son and his wife can come to some understanding, such that there can be a restoration of relations for the whole family. The specific practices of Judaism that your son and his wife engage or do not engage in are secondary to establishing Shalom Bayit, peace in the home, for you and the entire extended family.
Regarding the status of your son’s wife, Jewish law regards a convert as a Jew in all respects once they have undergone conversion. It also regards any offspring as Jews. If a convert reverts to some earlier practices or seems to disregard some or even all of the Mitzvot, their status remains that of a Jew. Even if they openly engage in the practicing of another religion, whether their religion of origin or some other non-Jewish religion, they maintain their status as a Jew.
However, authorities in the Conservative movement agree with the traditional sources (the Teshuvot of R’ Zelizer [1995] and R’ Abelson and R’ Hammer [2012] according to Shulchan Aruch YD 268:12, Rema, Turei Zahav et al) that a convert who reverts to another religion, while still a Jew, must undergo Mikvah and Beit Din again. This is in order to re-affirm their allegiance to Judaism. A child of an apostate from Judaism must also undergo Mikvah and Beit Din.
From your question, it is unclear if your son’s wife is simply a non-practicing Jew, for which there are many, and would not need to “re-convert”, or whether she has truly abandoned Judaism altogether and might need to re-convert. For you family’s sake, this seems less important, though, than the need for all parties to reconcile so that your grandson can have contact with his extended family. If this means turning a blind eye to your son and his wife’s religious choices, I would suggest that this is preferable than a child growing up with no contact to his loving Jewish grandparents.
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Question: Who should I invite to my husband's unveiling? [Administrator's note: there are several other questions relating to unveilings on JVO which can be found by searching for 'unveiling'.]
An unveiling is an important ceremony for Jewish mourners. However, the ceremony that accompanies the placing of a tombstone or grave marker is a more recent innovation to Judaism, and as such, there is no prescribed ritual. Usually, people say a few words about the deceased, and a selection of readings, Jewish texts, poems, or psalms are often read. Unveilings are usually done at the conclusion of the 11 month mourning period, although some wait until the first yahrtzeit. Again, there is no Jewish law regarding this- if a family wanted to do an unveiling earlier or later for family reasons, there would be reason not to.
In addition to all of this, the invitation of people to any Jewish lifecycle event- a Bnei Mitzvah, wedding, funeral, or unveiling, is purely the choice of individuals. Unveilings are usually smaller, more intimate family affairs than funerals. It might also be an opportunity to give those who missed the funeral, for whatever reason, a chance to say goodbye. I think from an emotional standpoint, it would be best to include those who would best support the direct family of deceased- brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, spouses, and parents. Whoever can give strength to those that were affected by the loss are those that should be there for an unveiling.
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Question: I would like to address with my 8th grade class the recent articles and reports that workers at iPad factories in China are mistreated. What is our obligation as Jews? Should we boycott? Protest? Write letters? How should we seek justice? I could use some specific quotes from sources that will assist me in pointing them to how we should consider this issue as Jews. Thanks.
The Jewish people as a nation begin as a result of poor labor conditions. Our first national story is of a ‘walkout’ due to poor conditions and pay; we call it ‘Yetziat Mitzraim’, the Exodus from Egypt, and ascribe our success to God, remembered twice daily in the Sh’ma nad V’Ahavata prayers, and celebrated as a holiday each year at Pesach time.
Jewish law has a long list of expectations for how workers are to be treated. Pay, benefits, working conditions, on-the-job injuries are all legislated. The right for workers to have a voice through striking and negotiating contracts is also well established. These sources begin in the Torah (ex: ‘Pay him his wages that day, for he is poor and relies on them’, Deut. 24:15) and continue into the Talmud (Mishnah BM 7:1, Talmud Bava Metzia 83a for example), and the law codes of Maimonides, Yosef Karo, and even to 20th c. rabbi, Rav Moshe Feinstein.
That doesn’t even include the proud Jewish tradition in labor organizing from the founding of International Ladies Garment Worker Union, to the Triangle Shirtwaist disaster of 1911 and Jewish leadership to this day in unions for service workers, teachers, and laborers. Jews have always cared about labor.
The laws generally apply to Jewish employers and Jewish workers. Jewish consumership, however, is not regulated as such. In Talmudic times, the notion of a product assembled in 12 countries and transported thousands of miles didn’t exist. But while our texts don’t explicitly bar Jews from buying products that are produced in an unjust manner, it is not hard to assume that God does not approve of the types of abuses occurring at factories in Asia to manufacture electronics. We as Jews cannot tolerate oppression and injustice anywhere; we should strive to end it, and we certainly should try our best to avoid spending our dollars on things produced in an unjust manner.
Boycotts are hard things. To be effective, it would take literally millions of people to stop using products of companies that employ unfair or abusive labor practices. At this point, there are simply too many people to organize and too many products that are the reult of unfair labor practices. That being said, in the 1960’s, Jewish leaders declared table grapes ‘un-kosher’ during the strike of Cesar Chavez and the United Farm Workers towards vineyard owners. I think contacting your legislators, raising awareness in your community- with parents, students, and with your synagogue- would be a more effective first step; a boycott might be a good idea, but not yet.
As the rabbis teach, ‘Al Tifrosh min haTzibbur’ – ‘Do not separate yourself from the community’ (Pirkei Avot 2:5). Observing a solemn day like 9/11 should best be done in community. Contact your local synagogue or JCC to see if they are doing something to commemorate 9/11.
If your local Jewish community does not have plans to commemorate 9/11, ask if you can lead a program, then seek the help from educators, rabbis, or interested community leaders.Below are some suggested texts. These are also good choices to read alone if you feel that an activity with a group is not your style.
Tehillim – Psalms – are a traditional way to read and reflect on tragic or challenging times. Psalm 121 with ‘I lift my eyes to the mountain- from where will my help come?’, or Psalm 23 with ‘The Lord is my shepherd’, or the traditional Psalm for the High Holiday season, Psalm 27 with ‘The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?’; these are all great readings, among others.
On Tisha B’Av, the day the Temple was destroyed, Jews traditionally read from the book of ‘Eicha’ – ‘Lamentations’. Certain selections, which dealt with the traumatic event of the destruction of the 1st and 2nd Temples and the violence that accompanied it, would be a good think to use as a parallel to the horrendous events of 9/11. A mention of Amalek, the forces of evil that sought to destroy the innocent throughout Jewish history, might also be appropriate. Those texts can be found in Exodus 17 and Deuteronomy 25. Some modern poems or a story from the events of September 11th that would be reflective and evoke the memories of those who were lost would also be fitting.
Finally, some text reflecting on peace and non-violence might frame the day appropriately. The Jewish response to 9/11 is not particularly different than any faith-tradition’s response to violence: the killing of the innocent is an act of evil, and although we may act to defend ourselves, we as Jews should constantly strive for peace. In this way, we fulfill the aspirations of our prophets to ‘beat swords into plowshares’, remembering the words of our sages ‘Hillel said: Be of the disciples of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving your fellow creatures and bringing them close to the Torah.’
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Question: There is always a lot of talk about compromise in Washington. What does Judaism teach us about the need to compromise vs. standing by your principles?
A great example of plurality and compromise in Judaism comes from the Talmud, in a story about the first recognized rabbis, Hillel and Shammai.
“For three years the House of Shammai disagreed with the House of Hillel. these ones said the law is according to us, and these ones said the law is according to us. A Divine Voice went out and said, ‘These and these [ i.e. both] are words of the living God’, yet the law goes according to the House of Hillel.
After (God said) ‘these and these are words of the living God’. Why did Beit Hillel merit to set the law their way? Because they were pleasant and taught (both) their own words and the words of the House of Shammai.
And not only that, but they put the words of Beit Shammai before their words.” (Talmud Eruvin 13b)
Here, we see that civil discourse, politeness, teaching both sides, and disagreement in general is the Jewish way. One-sided ranting, stubbornness and the attempt to ram your own opinion down the other side’s throat is inappropriate and anathema in this example.
Moreover, the Talmud, our central repository of Jewish tradition, law, morality and lore that is the basis for all modern Judaism, is not a dry book of single-viewpoint platitudes, but a cacophony of voices; a digressive discourse where different sides are taken and we all ‘agree to disagree’.
On most occasions, the rabbis allow both a majority and minority opinion to stand, and the followers of an individual rabbi are still free to follow their ‘rav’, despite it’s standing outside the mainstream. This ability to live alongside a fellow Jew who does not practice as you do is a pure example compromise that we still see today, in the different observances of Sephardim, Ashkenazim and Haredim; Reform and Orthodox; many voices, one people.
And on many occasions, rabbis would bend each their two views to come to a full compromise- Hillel and Shammai, for instance, on a certain measure of Challah required for a sacrifice; or Rabbi Yehoshua and other rabbis moderating a series of draconian mourning rituals after the destruction of the Temple to a more moderate series of observances.
Judaism not only embraces compromise; it was built on it.
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Question: What does Judaisam teach us is the responsibility of Jews living in the diaspora to defend the state of Israel?
Jewish tradition and law provide several Mitzvot that would encourage a person to volunteer to serve in the Israeli Army, if they choose to. First of all, it is a Mitzvah to make Aliyah to Israel- to become a permanent resident. In fact, many authorities believe it to be a Mitzvah that supersedes all others. In the course of making Aliyah, any male under the age of 26 and female under 24 is required to serve in the Israeli Army, with some exceptions.
Additionally, another commandment states 'ìà úòîåã òì ãí øòê' - ‘Do not stand idly by the blood of one’s fellow’, (Leviticus 19:16) i.e. one must aid and protect your neighbor in times of threat or danger. The commandment at its simplest requires that we not ignore a potentially life-threatening situation that is immediately before us, like a person suffering a heart-attack on the sidewalk. However, one could extend the principle out for the person that wants to be more pro-active in protecting and defending their fellow Jew. In that sense, it would certainly be the fulfillment of a positive commandment to serve in the Israeli Army, whether one chooses to live there permanently or not.
The laws of when it is necessary for Israel to make war also include some guidelines for who should fight and who is exempt. Those who have been recently engaged, or just built a house may also be exempt (Deuteronomy 20:6-9).
Finally, one does not even need to move to Israel, sign up for a full three year commitment, or even fire a weapon to help the Israeli Army. ‘Volunteers for Israel’ allows someone committed to a safe and secure but with responsibilities in the world to help with simple tasks; cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.; on a military base. It frees up a non-combat task for a combat trained member of the Army. You can learn more at http://www.vfi-usa.org/. Their tagline? ‘Do a Mitzvah’.
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Question: The latest rumor of a celebrity practicing Kabbalah is supermodel Naomi Campbell. What is the celebrity draw to Jewish mysticism and can a non-Jew legitimately "practice" Kabbalah?
My response is based mostly in Jewish law, somewhat in personal experience, and slightly in common sense.
Kabbalah is generally defined as Jewish mysticism; the attempt to engage in an intense and direct Divine experience using certain techniques, practices and texts rooted in Jewish practice and literature. It has a long history, stretching back to the book of Ezekiel and the stories of the Talmud. The most famous story of the Talmud emphasizes the dangers of an ungrounded attempt to experience the Divine for those who are not rooted to a firm foundation.
“Four men entered the pardes —Ben Azzai, Ben Zoma, Acher [that is, Elisha], and Rabbi Akiva. Ben Azzai looked and died; Ben Zoma looked and went mad; Acher destroyed the plants (and became an apostate); Akiba entered in peace and departed in peace.” (Hagigah 14a)
The pardes is a Hebrew word meaning ‘garden’ but it is understood here to mean the direct presence of God. The story underscores that the ecstatic experience of the Divine is so intense that only the most highly trained can even attempt it, and even of these four Jewish scholars, only one emerges intact. Later Kabbalists, like Abraham Abulafia, Isaac Luria, and Yosef Karo were all trained masters of Jewish law and texts before attempting to apply Kabbalistic methods to their learning. As such, a commonly repeated injunction suggested that a man be 40 years old before he engaged in the study of Kabbalah, based on the quote in Pirkei Avot that “a man of 40 is ready for Binah – understanding…" (Avot 5:24).
On top of this, the central text of Kabbalah, the Zohar, is an allegorical and wildly digressive commentary on the five books of the Torah, and broadly references Jewish law, Talmud, commentary and Midrash. My own limited study of the Zohar for two years, with two seasoned experts in the field, still left me mostly befuddled.
The type of Kabbalah being practiced by Madonna, Britney Spears, and Naomi Campbell comes by way of an organization called the ‘Kabbalah Learning Centre’, based in Los Angeles. Back at the turn of the 20th century, a rabbi in Israel named Yehuda Ashlag claimed that the sources of Kabbalah were such universal principles that anyone could study them. Another rabbi, Philip Berg, took this idea and started an organization for Jews and non-Jews alike based on some abstracted principles of Kabbalah. Some of their practices are rooted in Jewish rituals, but taken in a different direction. Some of them are new inventions.
Some examples- Jews have a custom of rising on their toes during the words ‘Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh’ (holy, holy, holy) in prayer, to emulate the angels referred to in the prayer. At the Kabbalah Centre, during prayer times, practioners leap three times in the air. Jews in traditional synagogues study Torah for its meaning in order to get closer to God and what God wants of us. At the Kabbalah Centre, the belief is that ‘scanning’ the Hebrew letters - just glancing at their shapes, without understanding how to read - is enough to derive holiness. Text study, learning, observance of Mitzvot and helping others through Tzedakah and Gmilut Hasadim are generally de-emphasized at the Kabbalah Centre. In exchange, practioners focus on spirituality, meditation, and the inward experience of God.
So what is the draw to a celebrity? I would say it is the same thing that draws anyone- it is a peaceful, calming, meditative series of practices that emphasizes the self and your individual connection to the divine. From a more critical perspective, it asks for the individual to disengage from the messiness of life- poverty, homelessness, hunger and suffering of others, and focus only on the self.
So according to Judaism, are they ‘legitimately’ practicing Kabbalah? According to Rabbi Ashlag? Yes. According to all the Kabbalists and Talmudists who came before him, who envisioned Kabbalah as the pinnacle of years of study of the entire depth and breadth of the Jewish tradition, after total mastery of Torah, Tanakh, Talmud, and Midrash, and punctilious observance of all of the commandments and thrice daily prayer of the greatest meaning and depth? No.
But who are we to judge? It may not be the way we practice or recognize normative Judaism. But if a person finds meaning in it, it calms them, and makes them a better person, as my grandmother would say, “Zei gezundter heiht”, they should live and be well.
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Question: I dislike my job & want to quit. I'd like to do it in a time frame that works for me, but I'd also like to do it in a way that's not offensive to my employers & allows them ample time to find a replacement. What's the best way - & the Jewish way - to address a touchy situation like this?
First of all, you are to be commended for caring enough about your employer that you wish to leave on good terms and in a moral and holy way. Clearly, they are losing a great asset.
There are many laws about the mutual employment responsibilities of both employer and employee in Jewish texts. Employers must pay on time and according to contractual agreement. They may not deduct from an employee for normal course-of-work damages and incidentals. And they must provide benefits like medical care, meals, breaks and vacation according to the customs of the city in which the workplace the business is located. Employees are expected to complete the labors they agreed to, arrive and depart according to the customs of the workplace, and not steal from their employers. For more, see the Talmud in Bava Metzia, 76-78.
Pursuant to your question of how much notice should you give, the Mishnah in Bava Metzia 7:1 reiterates the concept in labor relations that ‘everything is according to local custom’. In America, it seems to me that most people consider two weeks notice for quitting acceptable, and four weeks to be the most respectful, if possible.
The way to quit in a moral and respectable way is not a topic broached in Jewish law specifically, but the Torah gives an excellent illustrative story. In Genesis 31, Jacob, who has been cheated over and over again by his employer and father-in-law Laban in the course of 20 years of labor decides to quit. He agrees with Laban to divide their flocks of sheep, but Jacob schemes to take all of the good sheep and leave Laban the weak sheep. He kvetches to his wife that Laban “has cheated me and changed my wages ten times” (31:7), but does not convey his frustrations to Laban. Jacob takes his flocks, wives and children and leaves in the middle of the night. Laban chases him down and exclaims, “Why did you secretly flee on me, without even telling me, for I would have sent you off with joy and with song, with drum and with lyre…” (31:27).
Jacob then emotionally unloads; he tells of all the injustices of 20 years of labor for Laban in one seething diatriabe. Laban, either in anger, shock, or genuine selfishness, replies “The daughters (Jacobs two wives) are my daughters, the children are my children, the animals are my animals!” (31:43). The two make a covenant, mend their spat, and part ways for ever.
You are free to draw your own conclusions from this text. My take is this:
1) When you take your work with you, make sure your employer knows exactly what you are taking and agrees to it. Whether you leave with the healthiest sheep or are taking the secret plans to the next Toyota Prius, if they down know, it might be immoral (and it’s probably also illegal).
2) When you leave, save your co-workers your behind-the-back gripes. Go out with dignity, not like Jacob.
3) Set a date to leave, work until then, and go. Don’t sneak out in the middle of the night or call in sick for your last two weeks.
4) If and when you think your employer can hear it, set a meeting to discuss why you are leaving. A good company will want to know why its quality employees do not want to stay. Conversely, a lousy company won’t care what you say, and it will only validate your reasons for leaving. If you think your employers will be unable to hear your respectful explanation, plan B would be to write a letter shortly after you have left.
5) Lastly, and this is from experience, don’t expect to be played out ‘with drum and with lyre’, even if you were employee of the year 10 years running.
Good luck and many blessing at your next place of employment.
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Question: I am married to a gentile man who is of Italian background. When I discussed with the Rabbi who married us if we have a child that is raised of a different religion will he still be considered Jewish, she advised yes. I am a 100% Ashkenazic Jew. My problem is my son (who is now 1½ yrs old) was circumcised by a Jewish doctor training to be a mohel. He did not have a bris. If he grows up and wants to marry a nice Jewish girl (like his momma) will he have to convert and/or be bar mitzvahed? Is he considered Jewish? Thank you.
At some point during my early 20’s, I asked my father about what my bris (Brit Milah, or circumcision) was like. He told me that it was performed by a pediatrician in the hospital on the day I was born. Years later, a rabbi informed me that my circumcision was not done with the ritual intent and the proper blessings of a bris, and that I would need something called Hatafat Dam Brit.
Hatafat Dam Brit is a private procedure performed by a mohel in which a blessing is recited and the mohel pokes the area where the foreskin used to be with a sterile needle in order to draw a drop of blood. I was more than a little nervous, but I went through with it and it was surprisingly comfortable, painless, and personally meaningful.
Now to the technical points. Judaism is passed, as you know, by mother to child. As long as you are Jewish, your son is Jewish. Period. Brit Milah, while an important lifecycle ritual that strongly identifies your child to the community as a proud new member, does not make you Jewish. The same applies to Bar Mitzvah: it is an important lifecycle event, but not a requirement to be a Jew. The one caveat is that a convert to Judaism must undergo circumcision or else they cannot be considered a Jew.
Your son is Jewish without a doubt. If you feel strongly that you would like to fulfill this mitzvah now, you can choose to contact a mohel and have the procedure done. Alternatively, you can let him choose for himself. If he would like to fulfill the mitzvah of Hatafat Dam Brit when he is older, he can choose to do that. It is very quick, only a mild discomfort (like a pinch), and can be a life affirming and transformational moment for a person.
The only thing I would encourage is that you, as his mother, let him know as soon as he is capable of grasping the information and its relevance, maybe at the age of 12 or 13 years old. By the time I learned about my bris, I felt a little betrayed by my father, both for not having a traditional ceremony, and for withholding the truth from me for so long. Your son probably won’t make such a big deal out of it, but better to avoid any ill-feelings by being honest as soon as he can process the information.
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