|
All Questions Answered by
Rabbi Dr. Natan Ophir Question: I have been raised a Roman Catholic my entire life. I have always loved the Jewish faith and customs. I have recently discovered that my mother and her parents and her entire ancestry were Jewish. They converted to Christianity to avoid persecution in Poland before coming to America. I now have a whole history, culture and way of being that I was unaware of. I want to study and learn more of Judaism. I do not yet know if I want to convert. What should I do? Thank you for your answer. Eleanor
Dear Eleanor,
Welcome Home.
Your story sounds fascinating.
If you have sufficient documentation that your mother was Jewish, you probably will not need to “convert” because you will be already defined as Jewish. However, I suggest that you contact a Rabbi close to your residence and show him your documentation of your lineage. If you know which area in Poland your family lived, then I suggest reading up on the history, culture and ideas of that place. Was your family associated with a specific Hasidic tradition or with a memorable Synagogue? If you don’t have many details, you can post questions on the web and search sites like http://www.jewishgen.org, http://www.jgsny.org, http://genealogy.org.il; http://www.iajgs.org/blog. Perhaps search on Facebook and maybe you’ll find family relatives, some of whom might be practicing Jews.
There are many great classics for beginners starting to explore Judaism. For starters, To Be a Jew and To Pray as a Jew by Haim Donin, To Be a Jewish Woman by Lisa Aiken, and The Art of Jewish Prayer by Yitzchok Kirzner and Lisa Aiken. These are excellent places to start. Once you have read these, you will probably have many more questions and will also have some ideas about additional areas of Judaism that you would like to explore.
In order to decide how and if you would like to live your life as a Jew, it is best to join a Jewish learning program near your home or online via the Internet. You might begin your inquiries here on JVO with dozens of fascinating questions. By browsing the answers, you’ll get an idea of what directions are available and which Rabbis you might like to contact.
Question: What is the 'Carlebachian legacy'? I have heard that Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach was an Orthodox Rabbi who brought tens of thousands to Orthodoxy through music and stories. I read recently that Neshama Carlebach, the daughter of Carlebach, announced that she has “made aliyah” to Reform Judaism. What can you say about the Carlebach legacy, if there is one?
[Administrator's note: Shlomo Carlebach was a popular singer and storyteller. Some said Orthodox, others Hasidic. You can find his music and much more about his music and life in an online search. In the interests of full disclosure, one of the panelists who is responding to this question has authored a book on Carlebach.]
Indeed, in the interests of “full disclosure”, I should reveal that my son Menachem is a Carlebachian Hasid. One day, he asked me to help him research a college paper to analyze Reb Shlomo’s songs. I ended up spending two years writing a full length biography which was recently published by Urim Publications under the title Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach: Life, Mission and Legacy, Jerusalem, 2014. So for a proper answer to this JVO question please see my book www.CarlebachBook.com. Here below is an abbreviated response.
Neshama Carlebach has expressed praise for the Reform Movement’s “inclusiveness”. She sees this as reflecting her father’s legacy in “striving for unity, love of humanity without judgment, and honest respect for the individual/collective journey of the soul”.[1] Neshama’s interpretation reflects that part of her father’s life where he reached out to people of all faiths and persuasions. Reb Shlomo sang with the homeless on Riverside Park near his home in Manhattan, welcomed all seekers in the House of Love and Prayer that he founded in San Francisco, and went on concert tours around the world. Sometimes, his “outreach” work was dramatically universalistic, especially considering how he and his family barely escaped the Holocaust. This is illustrated in his concert tours in Poland to a 95% Catholic audience in January 1989 and July 1992.[2]
When Neshama was hosted at the Union of Reform Judaism Biennial in San Diego December 14, 2013, she announced that she is “making aliyah to Reform Jewry.[3] This proclamation was listed as one of the “Top Ten Reform Movement Moments of 2013”.[4] More recently, when Neshama was scheduled to lead a Reform congregation in Florida on Yom Kippur, she was quoted as explaining:
Although I love Reform Judaism, I don't like to define myself by a particular stream of Judaism. I want to reach out and personalize spirituality and prayer through my songs and discussions with the congregants.[5]
Most recently, “Soul Doctor”, the musical drama of the life and universalistic message of Reb Shlomo, has begun playing at the Actors Temple Theatre in Manhattan – http://www.souldoctorbroadway.com. It stars Josh Nelson as Reb Shlomo. Nelson, who is music director for the Union for Reform Judaism's Biennial Convention, is also the new partner of Neshama, both professionally and romantically.[6]
Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach died twenty years ago, on October 29, 1994. In The New York Times obituary, Prof. Ari Goldman designated Shlomo Carlebach “the foremost songwriter in contemporary Judaism.”[7] Recently, Goldman reiterated this statement, adding that it has never been disputed.[8] Similarly, in 1997, music historian, Robert L. Cohen, referred to Shlomo as “the most prolific composer of liturgical folk melodies in this, perhaps any, century.”[9] In a later article, Cohen explained that Carlebach “opened the gates for a new generation of niggun makers” by creating music with a Hasidic flavor that could be accessible to young Americans and create “new wings for our prayers”.[10] The 2011 Jewish American Chronology recognized Shlomo as “the twentieth century’s most prolific and influential composer of Jewish music” and as “a key ambassador of spirituality, especially to Jewish youth.”[11]
Now to your question. Reb Shlomo began his outreach career as an emissary of Chabad (1949-1954), and then set out on an independent path as a pioneering outreach worker of Judaism. He influenced countless people around the globe. Today, the Carlebach legacy spells different messages to diverse communities. For some, Reb Shlomo is a founding father of the Jewish New Age.[12] For others, his name is still anathema – it was expunged from the official accountings of the Haredi Lakewood Yeshiva where he studied from 1943-1948. Some have attacked him vituperously for deviating from standard boundaries of Orthodox Judaism, and especially for his practice of hugging everyone whom he met.[13]
But for many people, Shlomo was, and is, an inspirational figure. For devoted followers he is the saintly Rashban, an honorific acronym implying a reverence reserved for leading Talmudic scholars and Roshei Yeshiva.[14] Contemporary Carlebach minyanim “have elevated him and his approach to a kind of mythic status” as the modern Jew’s counterpart to Hasidic rebbes “that the Haredi world has enshrined” – “Like these rebbes, he is frequently resurrected in stories, songs, aphorisms, and teachings that are meant to shape the attitudes and religious character of those who invoke his memory”.[15]
As noted above, Reb Shlomo’s universalistic message is dramatized in the Broadway musical, Soul Doctor: The Journey of a Rockstar Rabbi. He is billed there as a “modern-day troubadour” who “ignited the spirit of millions around the world with his soul-stirring melodies, transformative storytelling, and boundless love”. Similarly, Sojourn Records advertises Reb Shlomo’s music as an inspiration to broken-hearted and lonely souls. [16]
Shlomo was able to blend in with many different types of communities because he reflected sundry images to diverse audiences. Prof. Shaul Magid uses the metaphor of a mirror:
Most remember him as a mirror …. each of his followers heard what he or she wanted and constructed him in their image. The Orthodox offer one reading, the neo-Hasidim another, Diaspora Jews another, Israeli Jews another; leftists read him one way, Jewish militants another. The point is none of them really know… He bequeathed a “Judaism of uncertainty” (“what do we know?” was his catchphrase) so that everything could be reviewed and revised, in the spirit of love and not separation, on compassion and not exclusion.[17]
These universalistic messages echo a trend in New Age Religions to focus on “healing and personal growth” as part of a “psychologization of religion”.[18] By reinterpreting Hasidic teachings to address contemporary concerns, and by dramatizing them with song and stories, the Carlebachian message creates a new psychological world-view that is universalistic in its appeal.[19]
The remaining question is how the Carlebachian legacy will live on in the 21st century. If dating websites are an indication of sociological trends, then indeed, a new definition is being created when “Carlebachian” is selected as an alternative to standard categories of religious identity.[20] Part of the reason that people choose “Carlebachian” for potential marital partners is because the Carlebach name has become synonymous with a Judaism imbued with spirit, joy, and love interspersed with individualism.
The future of this Carlebachian phenomenon is part of a larger assessment of Orthodoxy. According to the 2013 Pew Report, out of 6.7 million American Jews overall, merely 10% identify with Orthodox Judaism, and of these, a very small percentage, only 3%, are Modern Orthodox. Haredization (“sliding to the right”) coupled with losses to the left seems to be decimating their numbers even further.[21] One response to revitalize Modern Orthodoxy is reflected in the continuous popularity of Carlebachian Minyanim. Even mainstream Orthodox synagogues incorporate Nusach Carlebach or hold an entire Shabbat Carlebach. This transforms the prayer experience from decorous and somber to joyful and ecstatic. Furthermore, Carlebach Minyanim tend to generate an empathetic social community filled with caring for the individual.
How will the Carlebachian legacy influence the future in a time when Jewish identity formation is in a state of flux?[22] As Hasia Diner observed a decade ago:
Definitions of Jewishness may be more elastic than they have been at any time in the modern past. But that elasticity, a hallmark of American culture, may indeed hold the key to the continuance of the ‘eternal people’ in a new and uncharted age.
If this elasticity will apply to the Carlebachian legacy, then it will be interesting to see which parts will continue to have relevance for the 21st century. I would place my bet on the neo-Hasidic empathetic part. More on that in another article.
Additional Reading:
[1] Jan. 3, 2014 – http://bit.ly/1e3kRYn. [2] For Reb Shlomo’s tour to Poland see the biography on Reb Shlomo, pp. 282-289. [3] http://bit.ly/1tuPGfn; http://bit.ly/18BbEbU; http://bit.ly/1d7tp2a. She also performed recently, May 24, 2014, at the Israel Movement for Progressive Judaism Jubilee Biennial Convention in Israel. [5] Marvin Glassman, “Yom Kippur services to feature Neshama Carlebach,” South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Sept. 29, 2014. [6] See Paul Berger, “The Prince and Princess of Jewish Music Find New Love, ”The Jewish Daily Forward, published August 24, 2014, issue of Sept. 5, 2014, http://bit.ly/1qai7n9. Nelson is the protégé of Debbie Friedman (1951-2011), the Reform Jewish songwriter whose influence on contemporary liturgical music was “perhaps second only to Carlebach’s”. [7] Ari L. Goldman, “Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach,” New York Times, Oct. 22, 1994. [8] Ari Goldman, “Why Carlebach Matters,” The Jewish Week, May 8, 2009. [9] Robert L. Cohen, “Jewish Soul Man,” Moment, Aug. 1997, 58–64, 83. The article is available on the web: RlcWordsAndMusic.net, http://bit.ly/1zrcSU0. [10] Robert Cohen, “New Wings for Our Prayers: On American Jewish Music,” Open the Gates!, vol. 1, 2005, excerpted in Tikkun, March 27, 2008, Tikkun.org, http://bit.ly/1t15zMS [11] Mark K. Bauman, Jewish American Chronology: Chronologies of the American Mosaic (Santa Barbara, California: 2011), pg. 119. [12] An example of this is the New Age Encyclopedia first published in 1990 which gives special entries to Reb Shlomo and Reb Zalman, emphasizing their role in creating New Age Judaism. See J. Gordon Melton, Jerome Clark and Aidan A. Kelly (eds.), New Age Encyclopedia (Detroit: 1990), sect. 70 (pp. 87–88), sect. 171 (pp. 242–245), and sect. 272 (pp. 404–406). [13] This is detailed in my book pp. 419-425, and in a forthcoming book in Hebrew. [14] The acronym Rabbenu Shlomo Ben Naphtali is used by devoted Carlebach Hasidim. See for example, the facebook page of Kesher Rashban. One of the photos describes Rashban in Yiddish as the continuation of the Besht (Baal Shem Tov) and an exponent of the Hasidut of Ishbitz and Breslov. Created in Dec. 2007, Kesher defines itself as the largest online archive for Reb Shlomo’s Torah and Songs – see https://www.box.com/rashban. [15] Adapted from Samuel C. Heilman, Sliding to the Right: The Contest for the Future of American Jewish Orthodoxy (Berkeley and Los Angeles: 2006), pg. 291. [16] SojournRecords.com, http://www.sojournrecords.com/prod/artist/shlomo_carlebach. [17] Shaul Magid, “Carlebach’s Broken Mirror,” Tablet Magazine, Nov. 1, 2012, TabletMag.com, http://bit.ly/1mUmldy. [18] On the “psychologization of religion and sacralization of psychology” see Wouter J. Hanegraaff, New Age Religion and Western Culture: Esotericism in the Mirror of Secular Thought, Leiden, 1996/Albany, N.Y., 1998. [19] See Natan Ophir, “Psycho-Spiritual Innovations in the Neo-Hasidic Renewal of Reb Zalman Schachter-Shalomi and Reb Shlomo Carlebach,” 4th Israeli Conference for the Study of Contemporary Spiritualties, March 20, 2012, Haifa University, http://bit.ly/1AGGzgT [20] For example, see SYAS, SawYouAtSinai.com. Carlebach is the only category named after a specific person. Frumster.com presents categories from Modern Orthodox Liberal to Yeshivish-Modern but Carlebachian is the only definition named for a specific rabbi. See Sarah Bunin Benor, Becoming Frum: How Newcomers Learn the Language and Culture of Orthodox Judaism (New Brunswick, New Jersey: 2012). [21] See Jack Wertheimer, “Can Modern Orthodoxy Survive?,” Mosaic, August 2014, http://mosaicmagazine.com/essay/2014/08/can-modern-orthodoxy-survive/ [22] Shaul Magid, American Post-Judaism: Identity and Renewal in a Postethnic Society, (Bloomington, 2013). [23] Hasia Diner, The Jews of the United States, 1645 to 2000 (Berkeley, 2004), pg. 358. Question: I have a question about names. I am converting to Judaism, and my mikvah date is in just a few weeks. I have been exploring Judaism and learning for about 3 years. I have already picked a Hebrew name, which my rabbi at the time began to call me by. I found that I liked being called my Hebrew name, and began to use that name rather than my birth name/English name. I don't ask my parents or siblings to refer to me by my Hebrew name, though they know I use it. I want to legally change my first name to my Hebrew name. However, a friend suggested that maybe this would be disrespectful to my father, who named me for his deceased mother. My friend made the case that even though my English name is not a Jewish one, since my parents followed the Jewish tradition of naming for a deceased relative, I should not legally change my name. Is it disrespectful to my father to change my name? What is the Jewish perspective on name changes?
Names provide a way of structuring and mapping the world, and in Judaism all the more so. The first task of the first human, Adam, was to select names for the creatures around him (Genesis 2, 19). Etymologies of names in the Bible are often laden with meaningful connotations. God Himself changes names. Abram becomes Abraham and Sari becomes Sarah with the addition of the letter heh from God’s own name, and they assume patriarchal/matriarchal roles. Jacob becomes Israel, and thus the 12 tribes of Israel are born. Personal names in Hebrew play an important role throughout Jewish history. The 19th century Hasidic Rabbi Tzadok haCohen of Lublin summarizes the Hasidic-Kabalistic tradition: The personal name is the impression of the root of the soul (Dover Tzedek, pg. 85).
Especially today, in the modern secularized age in particular, names often reflect identity, and having a Hebrew name is an essential part of religious affiliation and identification. A pioneering outreach worker who was very aware of the importance of Hebrew names was Reb Shlomo Carlebach. Here is a sample of how he gave out names:
What distinguished Reb Shlomo’s outreach was the way that he offered a new layer of Jewish identity by changing names. He bestowed dozens of Hebrew names: Norman became Nosson and his wife Phyllis’s name was changed to Ahouva. Marvin = Moshe, Ivan = Yisroel, Alex = Eliyahu, Sonny = Eliezer, Ronnie = Refael Simcha, and Barrie became Bracha. Some names were quite original. To Barbara, Shlomo gave the name Tzlotana, which in Aramaic means “our prayer.” To Phyllis Ann Smith who converted to Judaism, Shlomo gave the Hebrew name of Alifa Pelait, literally, the wondrous Alifa. For Bruce, he gave the name Hashir v’Hashevach (Song and Praise).[1]
So to answer your question, yes, it is good to use your Hebrew name.
About respecting your father, this is really a “values clarification” question.[2] On the one hand, you would like to respectfully follow your parents’ decision to give you an English name for a deceased relative.[3] On the other hand, you would like to legally change your name to a Hebrew name as part of your conversion to Judaism. My recommendation is that you use both names. It is common in Jewish tradition for a person to have two names, with the Hebrew name used for religious purposes such as being called up to the Torah.
[1] This is from my paper, “Neo-Hasidic ‘Empathetic Orthodoxy’ In The Carlebachian Identity”, submitted to the Journal of American Jewish History. [2] See my answer about values clarification on Jewish Values Online, http://bit.ly/1CJqXud [3] I will not go into a subsidiary question of what the filial responsibilities of a convert are to his/her non-Jewish parents. Question: Both my parents are Jewish. I live as a Jew, embrace Jewish values and culture, and believe in Jesus as the Messiah. I identify as a Messianic Jew.
My question: Most rabbis dispute the validity of my faith and assert that I have lost my right to be called a Jew. I am troubled and perplexed by this prejudice. Why is there an empathetic understanding towards Messianic Chabadniks or Jewish Buddhists (JUBUs) but not towards Messianic Jews? Why am I ostracized while secular, atheist and non-believing Jews are accepted?
[Administrator's note: A very similar question was posted and answered at http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=139. Messianics are not Jews by the definition of any branch of Judaism.]
Messianic Judaism if defined as "the religion of Jewish people who believe in Jesus (Yeshua) as the promised Messiah” is both a Jewish form of Christianity and a Christian form of Judaism.[1] Messianic Jews view themselves as heirs and continuers of Jesus' early followers. They take pride in their Jewish roots, use Jewish symbols, celebrate Jewish holidays, and conduct prayers on Shabbat (see below Appendix B for a fuller description).
Although Jewish groups across the denominational spectrum often view Messianic Judaism as a disingenuous form of Christianity,[2] your question about acceptance was raised in a sympathetic way some 15 years ago by two rabbis who are also academic scholars. Reform Rabbi Dan Cohn-Sherbok, professor of Judaism at the University of Wales, argued for a “pluralistic model” whereby Messianic Judaism could be seen “as one among many expressions of the Jewish faith”. Cohn-Sherbok contended that Messianic Judaism is no more inauthentic than other forms of contemporary Jewish life.[3] Similarly, Reconstructionist Rabbi Carol Harris Shapiro undertook an ethnographic study in 1990-1991 at Messianic congregation Beth Yeshua in Philadelphia, and visited congregations in Maryland, Florida and Israel. Her conclusion was that it is difficult to find a logical reason to single out Messianic Judaism for rejection given the Jewish community's tacit acceptance of secular humanistic Jews and Jewish Buddhists.[4]
Shapiro’s conclusion was attacked by spokesmen for all three denominations. In a review article in The Jewish Forward, Reform Rabbi Eric Yoffie, president of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations, called Shapiro’s conclusions absurd because the notion of a 'messianic Jew' “is a fraud… there will be no compromise on that point." Both Rabbi Jerome Epstein, vice president of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism and Orthodox Rabbi Lawrence Shiffman, professor of Judaic Studies at New York University argued that Harris-Shapiro was egregiously incorrect. Shiffman wrote that she "has been sucked into the very conception the missionaries want to create."[5]
Half a year later, Messianic Judaism was debated in The Jerusalem Report (Jan. 31, 2000, pg. 56). Messianist Rabbi David Chernoff contended that belief in Jesus is justified biblically:
… Ancient Jewish prophets spoke of one who would come from Bethlehem and whose origins are eternal (Micah 5:1). They spoke of a messiah who would suffer and die for the sins of his people. (Isaiah 53:6). Another startling prophecy stated that the messiah must come before the destruction of the (Second) Temple (Daniel 9:24-27)… we believe that we have found the long-promised messiah of Israel and that our faith is Biblical Judaism.
Rabbi David Rosen, founder of the Interreligious Coordinating Council in Israel, attacked Chernoff’s claim as deceitfully obscuring Christian doctrine:
… Instead of marketing the intentionally duplicitous slogan of "Jews for Jesus," those who believe that Jesus of Nazareth is divine and that belief in him is essential for personal salvation should come clean and present themselves as Christians. While I am committed to Jewish-Christian understanding, I am certainly opposed to Jews who have become Christians claiming that they are simply part of the Jewish religious spectrum, for this is nothing short of deceit.
Chernoff proceeded to defend the inclusion of Jesus in his belief system:
… Messianic Jews are born Jews and will die Jews. We have our own synagogues, observe the Shabbat, celebrate the Jewish festivals, keep many of the traditions of our people and raise our children to be Jewish. We are ardent Zionists…. We also believe that there will be a "spiritual restoration" of Israel and believe that Messianic Judaism is a reflection of that awakening (Ezekiel 36:24-25). Yeshua did not come as the conquering messiah (Mashiah ben David) but as the suffering messiah (Mashiah ben Yosef)…. We believe that he is coming again to reign over the entire earth from Jerusalem.
Rosen admitted that technically Chernoff is defined halachically as Jewish, but argued that these Christian beliefs contradict Judaism:
The Talmud states (Sanhedrin 44a) that an Israelite, though he may sin, remains an Israelite. Accordingly, it is true that from a halakhic standpoint, one who is born to a Jewish mother is considered a Jew, whatever faith or ideology he may profess. The issue here, however, is not the halakhic status of a Jew who has accepted Christian beliefs but whether those beliefs may be considered to be Jewish. The answer to this question is an unequivocal "no." … the doctrines of the Incarnation, Jesus' atonement for the sins of man, the Trinity and so forth are recognized throughout the world as Christian beliefs. So while you may choose not to call yourself Christian, it is still devious to present your beliefs as legitimately Jewish.
These discussions took place in 1999-2000. Now in 2014 it seems that attitudes are changing with a growing rate of interfaith marriages. The recent 2013 Pew survey found that 32% of American Jews have a Christmas tree. But more strikingly, it discovered that 58% of the Jews who became married from 2005 until 2013 had selected non Jewish life partners. That means that more than half of all Jews are intermarrying. Some conduct high profile interfaith ceremonies such as the $3 million wedding of Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky performed jointly by Reverend William Shillady, a Methodist minister, and Rabbi James Ponet, a Yale University Jewish chaplain ordained at Hebrew Union College. Recently (April 2014) Chelsea announced that she is expecting a baby. According to the Reform policy of "patrilineality", their baby would be considered Jewish unless they overtly practice Christianity.
While the Pew report identified the adult Jewish population in the USA as 5.3 million, it also categorized an additional 1.2 million Americans as having “Jewish affinity,” i.e. identify themselves as Jewish despite not being Jewish by religion or not having a Jewish family background.[6] Messianic Jews were relegated to this category of “Jewish affinity”.
What is fascinating is that a third (34%) of the Pew respondents would accept Jews who believe in Jesus as Messiah as Jews. Russ Resnik, director of the Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations, interprets this to mean that the general Jewish community “is receiving and friendly” although the gatekeepers are more “vigilant”.[7]
Findings like these point to the emergence of a hazy category between Judaism and Christianity, a blurring of boundaries between Jews and non-Jews. Sara Bunin Benor, a professor at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion who acted as an adviser to the Pew study concluded: “More people than in the past believe that you can be both Jewish and Christian.”[8] Similarly, Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein, president of the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews, predicts that within the next dozen years, there will be a recognized religious category between Judaism and Christianity of people who feel Jewish but accept Christian doctrines regarding Jesus’ status as the Messiah and the concept of the holy trinity. So it would seem that with current trends of Christian influences, the opposition to Jewish Messianics will begin to soften in parts of Judaism.
Question: Will more Rabbis who pride themselves on being all-inclusive open doors to thousands of self-identified Jews who are observing forms of Christianity? Will the next Pew Report allow Messianic Jews to be categorized as Jews? If so, will this create acrimonious debate within Judaism? (See my response to a similar question at http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/493). The question although provocative raises intriguing issues in defining theology, identity and the future of Judaism.
Appendix A: Christianity and Judaism as Mutually Exclusive
Christianity and Judaism are considered to be distinct religions, often competing, and usually mutually exclusive. Over centuries missionaries tried to convert Jews. Disputations were initiated to prove the superiority of Christianity. Forced debates were a feature of medieval Jewish life, often with dire consequences. For example, in Christian Spain in the Middle Ages, Jews were challenged to confess the inferiority of Judaism in Barcelona 1263, Burgos and Avila in 1375 and in Tortosa 1413-1414, When tens of thousands of Jews converted to Christianity in 1391 and 1414, most did so out of fear. As a result, the conversos (New Christians or Marranos) were suspected of living double lives, a charge that led to the Inquisition and eventually to the expulsion in 1492. The paradigm that developed over the centuries is that the two religions were competing allegiances that could not be combined.
Therefore it is not surprising that the Jewish community is adamantly opposed to the idea that one can convert to Christianity and still remain a Jew. Orthodox Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan in The Real Messiah, http://bit.ly/W2wlZz, published in 1976 by “Jews For Judaism” as a response to the missionary activities of “Jews for Jesus”, writes on page 11:
A Jew who accepts Christianity is no longer a Jew and can no longer be counted as part of a Jewish Congregation. Conversion to another faith is an act of religious treason. It is one of the worst possible sins that a Jew can commit. Along with murder and incest, it is one of the three cardinal sins which may not be violated even under pain of death. A Jew must give his life rather than embrace Christianity.
Similarly, Conservative Rabbi David Wolpe of Sinai Temple in Los Angeles declared: “it is dishonest, deliberately or inadvertently, to say that one can live in a Jewish faith community and accept another scripture or accept a different God.”[9] Wolpe explained recently: “A Jew who accepts Jesus has cut himself off from the faith community of Jews, and that has been so for 2,000 years….The sudden rise of ‘Messianic Jews’ owes more to a clever way of misleading untutored Jews than to making theological sense”.[10]
So also, the Reform movement stated emphatically:
For us in the Jewish community anyone who claims that Jesus is their savior is no longer a Jew and is an apostate... Such individuals should not be accorded membership in the congregation or treated in any way which makes them appear as if they were affiliated with the Jewish community....[11]
This response is not surprising because historically, "Jewish" and "Christian" denoted alien communities, often at battle. Today also, Christian doctrinal belief is perceived as a missionary threat more than other religions because the polemics announce that Biblical scripture points to Jesus as the Messiah thereby promoting “truth claims” that strike at the core of Jewish faith. Messianic Jews are challenging the authoritative interpretations of the Bible while JUBUS are not. Thus, a Messianic Jews’ belief that the Torah leads to Jesus is at loggerheads with traditional Jewish theology. From a Jewish perspective, a Jew who converted was an apostate and his family would sit shiva in mourning over the lost Jew. Thus it is not too surprising when Messianic Judaism is accused of hiding a missionary agenda. Organizations like “Jews For Judaism” (http://www.jewsforjudaism.ca/home) accuse “Jews for Jesus” as deceitfully attracting Jews to Christianity. “Jews for Judaism East” founded in 1983 has as its goal “To educate on deceptive missionary tactics targeting Jews for conversion”. They warn of the dangers implicit in the few hundred Messianic congregations in the USA (http://j4jeast.org/messianic-jewish-congregations). Similarly, http://outreachjudaism.org/ founded by Rabbi Tovia Singer is “to respond directly and effectively to unyielding Christian missionaries who specifically target Jews for conversion”.
Thus, it is easy to see why Jewish leaders feel that Christian doctrinal belief is inimical to Judaism and is a missionary threat more than other religions. “Jews for Jesus” proclaimed: “We exist to make the messiahship of Jesus an unavoidable issue to our Jewish people worldwide”.[12] True, that Jewish Messianists are very different than Evangelical Jews for Jesus, but they are similar in advancing a polemical statement that Biblical scripture points to Jesus as the Messiah and they thus promote “truth claims” that would seem to be inimical to the very core of Jewish faith.
Appendix B: “Messianic Judaism”
Beginning in the late 1960s counterculture revolution and the “Jews for Jesus” movement, thousands of American Jews converted to Christianity. Today it is estimated that there are 150,000 Jewish believers in Jesus worldwide of which more than 100,000 are in the USA, 25,000 in Europe and 10,000 in Israel. The Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations (UMJC) is a Messianic Jewish organization which connects and supports Messianic Jewish congregations, mostly in the United States and it has about 70 or 80 congregations and some 20,000 members.[13] Their commitment to Yeshua as the Messiah embraces “the covenantal responsibility of Jewish life and identity rooted in Torah, expressed in tradition, and renewed and applied in the context of the New Covenant”.[14] About 150 congregations are listed in IAMCS (International Alliance of Messianic Congregations & Synagogues), most in the United States.[15] Within IAMCS is the Messianic Jewish Alliance of America (MJAA).
Appendix C: Previous Responses on JVO About Messianic Judaism
In a previous JVO question about Messianic Jews, http://bit.ly/1t7Qls5, the three respondents were unanimous in not accepting “Messianic Jews” as Jews. Reform Rabbi John Sherwood stated unequivocally that “Messianic Jews” are either intellectually deluded or just as dishonest as Jews for Jesus. Orthodox Rabbi Alan Yuter concluded that “If these Messianic Jews pray to Jesus as a god, they are idolaters who do not count in the minyan”. Conservative Rabbi David Bockman critiqued Messianic Jews for believing that Jesus was the messiah despite clear “evidence of failure”, but argued that “they become a danger” only when they recruit Jews for their movement and “siphon resources (financial and otherwise)” from mainstream Judaism.
In a JVO question on accepting Jesus as Messiah, http://bit.ly/U5HfMz, Reform Rabbi Joshua Strom defines a person who accepts Jesus as a personal savior and messiah as having deserted Judaism to become a Christian. Conservative Rabbi Ute Steyer requires the renegade who accepted Jesus to “renounce his/her apostasy in front of three witnesses and to immerse in a ritual bath”. Orthodox Rabbi Yehuda Leonard Oppenheimer thinks that “it is often the fault of the Jewish community that has not provided as welcoming and loving an environment in its synagogues as can be found in so called Messianic Temples”. He implores “any Jewish person considering adoption of the Christian faith to first study the material available at www.jewsforjudaism.org or at www.outreachjudaism.org.
In a related question, http://bit.ly/1sDE62A, on selling a tallit to a Messianic, all three denominational representatives are against this. Reform Rabbi Mark Washofsky rules that a religion centered upon the figure of Jesus of Nazareth is not Judaism and therefore selling tzitzit to a Messianic Jew is aiding apostasy and deceptive behavior (false advertising) because “we ought not do anything that helps them persuade others that one can be a good Jew and a Christian at one and the same time”.[16] Conservative Rabbi Dr. Aryeh Cohen does not allow sale of such a tallit if the Messianic might trick an observer into thinking that this is an authentic form of Judaism. Orthodox Rabbi Ben Hecht is against affixing tzitzit to a Messinic’s prayer shawl so as to not to “desecrate Torah values” and not to be involved in the manipulation of Torah into another religious system.
Most recently on JVO http://bit.ly/1oeHIW6, Rabbi Joseph Blair reiterated that Messianic Jews “are simply not Jewish, are not accepted as Jews and never will be”:
They are Christians who worship Jesus. The two faiths are completely incompatible; one cannot hold both and be faithful to either. Anyone claiming otherwise is either completely deluded themself, or attempting to deceive others.
[1] Richard Harvey, Mapping Messianic Jewish Theology: A Constructive Approach, Carlisle: Paternoster, 2009. Harvey is a Messianic Jew and serves as academic dean at All Nations Christian College, in Ware, Hertfordshire, England. See his website - www.mmjt.eu [2] For a recent assessment see http://blogs.forward.com/forward-thinking/195398/jews-for-jesus-use-pew--in-ad/#ixzz35wPa708Y. Compare http://www.whatjewsbelieve.org/explanation9.html where Rabbi Stuart Federow, in a posting dated 2012, concluded that Messianic Jews “are no longer Jews”, and “to the Jewish community, it is absurd to claim one can be a Jew and a Christian at the same time, and knowledgeable Jews are not fooled”. [3] Dan Cohn-Sherbok, Messianic Judaism: A Critical Anthology, London, 2000. Idem, (ed.), Voices of Messianic Judaism: Confronting Critical Issues Facing a Maturing Movement, Baltimore, 2001. [4] Carol Harris-Shapiro, Messianic Judaism: A Rabbi's Journey through Religious Change in America, Beacon Press, Boston, 1999. Shapiro received rabbinical ordination at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College in 1988 and a Ph.D. in religion from Temple University in 1992. She is currently an assistant Professor of Contemporary Jewish Studies at Gratz College. [5] See E. J. Kessler in The Jewish Forward, June 4, 1999, pg. 1, quoted at http://www.jewsforjesus.org/publications/issues/v12-n10/arabbisjourney [6] The Pew Research Center’s survey of U.S. Jews was conducted by phone among 3,475 Jews in America from Feb. 20-June 13, 2013. See http://www.pewforum.org/2013/10/01/jewish-american-beliefs-attitudes-culture-survey/ [7] Ron Kampeas, “Has the time come to accept Messianic Jews?” The Times of Israel, November 20, 2013, http://bit.ly/TrZdIC [8] See http://bit.ly/TEXX5o - Josh Nathan-Kazis, “Boundaries Blur Between Jews and Christians in Shocking Ways - Christmas Trees Common — Even Belief in Jesus as 'Messiah'”, The Jewish Daily Forward, October 11, 2013. [11] Contemporary American Reform Responsa, #68, http://www.faqs.org/faqs/judaism/FAQ/10-Reform/section-15.html. Compare The URJ (Union for Reform Judaism) position not to accept Messianic Jewish congregations although “individual members of Messianic Jewish congregations may consider themselves Jews”. See CCAR Responsa # 150, “Marriage with a Messianic Jew,” vol. XCI, 1981, pp. 67-69. [13] Introduction to Messianic Judaism: Its Ecclesial Context and Biblical Foundations, David J. Rudolph, Joel Willitts, Zondervan, 2013, pg. 31. Compare Russ Resnick’s statement in Kampeas, Has the time come. [14] http://www.umjc.org/core-values/defining-messianic-judaism. For the statement of faith approved by the delegates, Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations, July 19, 2012 see http://www.umjc.org/statement-of-faith. [15] See http://www.iamcs.org/#/congregations-rabbis. Compare Peter Hocken, "The Challenges of the Pentecostal, Charismatic and Messianic Jewish Movements", 2009 [16] Washofsky refers us to Reform responsum no. 5754.1, “Selling Ritual Objects to Jews for Jesus,” in Teshuvot for the Nineties (New York: CCAR Press, 1997), pp. 143-146.
Question: Whats does Jewish law and thought say to a woman whose father never provided for her a husband? Even though I know that modern society tells her that she is to find her own husband?
I am now 44, and I have been led astray by lust, yearning for love and companionship. I had a child: now if I were to find a potential husband I couldn't offer him the opportunity to have a first born son. What should I do????
I find two distinct parts to your question:
1. How can I find a better way after having been “led astray by lust, yearning for love and companionship”?
2. What can “Jewish law and thought” offer to improve my current life situation at age 44, in particular my desire to have a first born son with “a potential husband”?
Ethical writings in Judaism offer you a diversity of answers. In this brief response I give a sample from the classic of Musar, Jewish moral instruction, Mesillat Yesharim, “Path of the Upright”. Written by Rabbi Moshe Hayyim Luzzato (1707-1747), this book delineates nine stages towards living a religiously moral life. The highest level is “Holiness”, but let’s focus on the first three phases. The first step is “Zehirut” (carefulness), implying careful deliberation and continual critical introspection. The purpose is self-discipline, to discover how to avoid wrong thoughts and actions and to become cognizant of a truer and higher good. The second level is “Zerizut” (zeal) implying alacrity, transforming your life with eagerness, enthusiasm and ardor. The third stage is “Nekiyut” (cleanliness), actively cleansing yourself from wrong character traits and freeing yourself from harmful thoughts and deeds. With these three first levels we can begin the practice of Musar, ethical training. “Zehirut” begins with shining light in the darkness to avoid the stumbling blocks that prevent a virtuous and moral life.
Asking the right questions is the first part of the self-reflection required in Zehirut. So I ask that you permit me to rephrase your question. You asked: “If I were to find a potential husband I couldn't offer him the opportunity to have a first born son. What should I do?” I suggest phrasing a different question. “What is it that I am able to offer a potential husband?” An answer might be offspring, certainly it should mean companionship, and hopefully it will entail a true and lasting love. About giving birth to a first born son, this is an example of a desire that is not dependent solely on you although you can do your best to facilitate the possibility. You might be blessed to bear a first born son for your husband, but if not, you need not worry for there is so much more that you can offer.
In your question you imply that you have already engaged in self-reflection as you describe having have been “led astray by lust”. The next stage is to seek the truer and more meaningful love. I wish you much success on this Path of the Upright. Perhaps there is a Musar circle or group near you? Musar requires continuous reflection, zeal and moral self-determination. It is best done with others. And maybe, just maybe, you might even find your beshert in the Musar Circle.
Appendix: The Musar Movement which was popular in 19th century Eastern Europe, particularly among religious Lithuanian Jews, can be found today in many Orthodox circles. An aim of Musar is to ignite the spark of holiness by studying Jewish moral values and ethics and incorporating them in our daily lives. Classics of Musar literature include R. Bahya Ibn Pakudah's Duties of the Heart, R. Moshe Cordovero's Palm Tree of Deborah, and the writings of R. Yisrael Salanter. There are numerous books and websites on Jewish Ethical writings. For example, Rabbi Dr. Norman Lamm, The Good Society: Jewish Ethics in Action (New York, 1974). Rabbi Elyakim Krumbein, Musar for Moderns (Jersey City, NJ: Ktav and Alon Shevut: Yeshivat Har Etzion, 2005). The Musar Movement is even gaining an entrée in non-Orthodox circles. See for example, Geoffrey Claussen, “The American Jewish Revival of Musar”, The Hedgehog Review, Critical Reflections on Contemporary Culture, vol. 12, no. 2, summer 2010, http://iasc-culture.org/THR/THR_article_2010_Summer_Claussen.php. Compare the book of a Conservative Rabbi, Ira F. Stone, A Responsible Life: The Spiritual Path of Mussar (New York: Aviv, 2007). Question: What are the Jewish values associated with pollution?
[Administrator's note: related questions can be found on JVO at:
http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=117
http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=295
http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=293 and
http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=598.]
Towards a Jewish Ecology
Jewish Values in a Broader Definition of Pollution
In the Bible, after Adam was created, he was introduced to the Garden of Eden. The Midrash dramatizes this event, emphasizing Adam’s responsibility to preserve the purity, integrity and goodness of the world:
When the Holy One Blessed He created the first human being, He took him and showed him all the trees in the Garden of Eden, and said to him: See my works, how beautiful and excellent they are! All that I have created, I created for you. Reflect on this, and do not corrupt or desolate My world, for if you do, there will be no one to repair it after you.[1]
In the two opening chapters of Genesis, Adam, as the progenitor of the human species, is enjoined to have both dominion and responsibility. In chapter 1, at the epitome of creation, God proclaims, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground” (Genesis 1, 26). God then blessed the newly created humans: "Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over... every living thing..." (Genesis 1, 28). Thus, Adam created in God’s Image and Likeness, is commanded to subdue nature, master the cosmos and impose his wisdom to transform the world. He would seem to be all powerful. Contrast Genesis, chapter 2: God took Adam and placed him in the Garden of Eden to work it and to guard it (Genesis 2, 15). The obligation for Adam in ch. 2 is to serve as custodian of the natural world, take care of the garden of trees, and act with fiduciary responsibility, i.e. with duties of loyalty and care. These two beginning chapters set the tone for the Bible and reflect two distinct dimensions and perhaps conflicting roles – controlling and regulating nature as opposed to serving with fiduciary responsibility.[2]
How have we fared in these twin ethical/legal obligations? It would seem not very well. Pollution is but one facet of both dominion gone awry and custodianship misused and today we are causing greater damage than ever before. If we were to imagine our earth as being say 46 years old, we have created most of the damage in the last 60 seconds of our planet’s existence.[3]
The environmental protection problems which concern us today have precedents in Jewish sources. Biblical passages dealing with the preservation of nature are elaborated upon in the Mishnah and Talmud to circumscribe environmental damage. Thus for example, in tractate Babba Batra which deals with torts, the Mishnah (2:9) necessitates distancing of carrion (dead and decaying flesh of animals), graveyards and tanneries a minimum of 50 cubits ( = about 23 meters) from populated places. Similarly, a permanent threshing floor needs to have a distance of 50 cubits in every direction" (Mishnah Babba Batra 2:8). The same applies to all industrial waste. Maimonides (12th century) states that it applies to any operations which create dust, whatever the direction of the prevailing winds (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Neighbors, 11:1). The Rosh, Rabbi Asher ben Yehiel (1250–1327, Germany-Spain), discusses the problem of water pollution where stagnant water penetrated a neighbor's house giving off an offensive smell (Responsum 108:10). These rulings were codified in the authoritative 14th century compilation of the Tur Shulhan Arukh, Hoshen Mishpat, 155, where the principle is that neighbors are exempt for paying damages if the pollution is caused by normal natural forces and they have taken adequate precautions. However, industries which cause dust, smog or smell and similar pollutants, may not operate except at the distance required to prevent damage.[4]
But what really are our custodial responsibilities? Perhaps it is time to begin expanding our definitions? The narrow definition of pollution is limited to the effects on the natural environment but the broader scope of pollution encompasses many more harmful influences.[5] In his article “The Idea of Pollution,” John Copeland Nagle writes:
We have become accustomed to thinking of pollution exclusively in terms of environmental degradation. This approach so pervades the societal mindset that people often dismiss references to cultural pollution, light pollution, spiritual pollution, and other non-environmental pollution as a mere rhetorical device.
Nagle asks for a broader definition of pollution to help society respond to a much larger gamut of effects upon our environments.[6] This broader view of “pollution” might include cultural pollution, objecting to such phenomena as hostile work environments, violent entertainment, and pornography. Similarly, an all-encompassing Jewish view would bring back both Adam I & II to reflect on our universe as a gift to be valued, respected and preserved. Our challenge is to promote technological advancement in the Adam I role exercising an intelligent and powerful dominion over creation yet simultaneously strive to fulfil Adam II responsibilities in our service as custodians of planetary existence.
I would suggest therefore, that further discussions of a Jewish virtue ethic for filling our Divinely ordained twin roles of rulers and caretakers take into account this broader view of pollution.
Appendix: A Gradual Broadening of the Definition of Pollution
The word pollution originates from the Latin word “polluere,” which means “to soil or defile”[7] and the term “pollution” began to be used in the late 19th century in reference to “defilement of the environment”. This definition took on significant proportions after World War II with the radioactive fallout from atomic weaponry and the realization of imminent environmental dangers. From the mid-1950s onwards, public awareness of a contaminated environment grew exponentially with legislation establishing definitions for dangers of air, water, and noise pollution.[8] Investigators studying the effects of contaminants began proposing competing definitions of pollution and the term took on social and political ramifications going far beyond the basic scientific measurements.[9]
[1] Midrash Kohelet Rabbah on the verse in Ecclesiastes 7:13 (“See the Work of God, for who can fix that which has been corrupted”). [2] Compare Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, "The Lonely Man of Faith," Tradition 7:2, Summer, 1965, pp. 10-16. [3] See “Judaism: beliefs about care of the planet”, http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/rs/environment/justewardshiprev1.shtml
[4] For a good survey of the Jewish legal view on ecology see Nahum Rakover, "Ecology," Encyclopaedia Judaica (ed. Michael Berenbaum and Fred Skolnik), 2nd ed. Vol. 6. Detroit, 2007, pp. 92-95. [5] The Oxford English Dictionary, pg. 43 (2d ed. 1989) defines pollution not only as “defilement; uncleanness or impurity caused by contamination (physical or moral),” but also as “the presence in the environment, or the introduction into it, of products of human activity which have harmful or objectionable effects”. Webster’s Third New International Dictionary, 1756 (1993) notes that polluted can mean “morally corrupt or defiled”. [6] UCDavis Law Review, vol. 43, no. 1, Nov. 2009. [7] The Barnhart Concise Dictionary of Etymology, pg. 582 (ed. 1995). The term emerged in Old French during the 14th century. Noah Webster’s first dictionary in 1828 listed five definitions of pollution:
1. Act of polluting.
2. Defilement; uncleanness; impurity.
3. In the Jewish economy, legal or ceremonial uncleanness, which disqualified a person for sacred services or rendered anything unfit for sacred use.
4. In medicine, the involuntary emission of semen in sleep.
5. In a religious sense, guilt, the effect of sin. [8] In 1952, the Great Smog in London killed thousands of people and caused 100,000 more to become ill with respiratory problems. It was the worst air pollution event in the United Kingdom prompting the first major modern environmental legislation, the Clean Air Act of 1956. In the United States, from the mid-1950s through the early 1970s, Congress passed the Noise Control Act, the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act and the National Environmental Policy Act as contaminating the environment became a major concern for the safety of the world. [9] Chemists examined the presence of contaminants, biologists and ecologists evaluated the effect on organisms and ecosystems, policy makers analyzed the impairment of water use or benefit. See Michael A. Champ, “Etymology and Use of the Term “Pollution”, Canadian Journal of Fisheries and Aquatic Sciences, 1983, 40, s5-s8, http://www.researchgate.net/publication/237181827_Etymology_and_Use_of_the_Term_Pollution Question: My beloved mother, 97 years old, is in intensive care in Buenos Aires, Argentina, I am in Canada, and also sick with bronchitis. My question is: if she seems to be ready to pass (go to olam habah) and wants me to come see her before that happens, but I am not able to go, what should I do. [What obligations do I have to honor my mother's wishes when it affects my own health?]
What is really the obligation to honor your parent? To what extent should you sacrifice your personal needs to help a sick parent? Need you jeopardize your personal health to fulfil the last requests of your parent on her death bed?[1]
Honoring parents is an enduring element of the Jewish ethos. The foci of Jewish filial piety are reflected in two Biblical commandments (mitzvot). The first, and arguably the most famous, is stipulated in the Ten Commandments, “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20, 12 and Deuteronomy 5, 16).[2] The second is the obligation of reverence that one needs “to revere his mother and his father” (Leviticus 19:3). The two imperatives are understood in Rabbinic thought to represent two distinct typological categories of honor and reverence.[3] “Honor” entails looking after the needs of your parents (Rambam, mitzvah #210), whereas “reverence” requires respect for their parental status (Rambam, mitzvah #211). The simple rationale would seem to be a strengthening of the family unit by establishing parental position and authority, but in Sefer ha-chinuch these two mitzvot are provided an ethical framework as creating ongoing opportunities to perform actions that can cultivate the character trait of gratitude, thankfulness to those who gave one being and sustenance.[4]
So now to redefine your question. Given that the twin commands of honor and reverence entail a devoted filial relationship based on gratitude what should be done when these values conflict with our own personal needs and interests? Who comes first?
At first glance, this question seems to reflect a dilemma between egoism and altruism. When we exit the womb we begin to differentiate ourselves as individuals, and as we grow up, we gradually assert a sense of emergent independence. We become egoistical beings. Psychological egoism asserts that each person has one ultimate aim: his/her own welfare.[5] We might also develop the trait of altruism, where we sacrifice our self-interests to benefit others.[6] Egoism would seem to be a polar opposite to altruism. I submit however, that the ideal in close family relationships is to blend egoism and altruism by expanding the egoistical conception beyond the physical boundaries of one’s own being to encompass concentric circles of a relationship based on love and appreciation. Egoism and altruism are then united in fulfilling the ideals of honor and respect. What is beneficial for you is also positive for your parent and vice versa.
Returning now to the motivational formulation of Sefer ha-Chinuch, these two mitzvot inculcate and perpetuate the realization that parental attachment is different from other relationships because it is based on two unique features – creation and sustenance, two attributes found only in parents and God.[7] Sefer ha-Chinuch sees this as a unique training ground to facilitate feelings of appreciation and inspire a mode of thankfulness. I would add that this is a way to cultivate a mindset of gratitude that may help bridge the gap between psychological egoism and ethical altruism. By setting a virtue ethic framework of behavior based on appreciation for the gift of life and existence, one can expand the “egoism” to merge with “altruism”. Concern for our personal welfare would then include valuing the filial relationship, and altruistic sacrificing of self-interests becomes a broadening of the self. Of course, this is an ideal that may often be possible only in theory, and as your question demonstrates, there is rarely a simplistic answer to such ethical dilemmas.
There is however a deeper concern in your question and it is found reflected in several stories in tractate Kiddushin, ch. 1, folios 30b-32a where the laudatory descriptions accentuate an ideal piety in relating to one’s parents. They reflect exemplary expressions of outstanding devotion and respect even in dire circumstances, and portray a virtue ethic of filial love and consideration. These anecdotes are held up in Jewish sources as paradigms of a virtue ethic.
Your visit to your 97-year old mother in the intensive care unit is not merely a technical fulfilment of a mitzvah, it is an essential part of palliative care, namely to help reduce your mother’s suffering and pain. Furthermore, you may be arriving at a crucial time of life passage where emotional needs and spiritual concerns are of paramount importance. Therefore, from both the halachic and ethical perspectives, you should try your utmost to arrive and fulfill your filial obligations. This is not merely a matter of honor and respect, it is doing what is virtuous and best for both you and your parent. It is both egotistical and altruistic to visit your parent. But just so, if your own health is really in grave danger, it is again both egotistically and altruistically correct not to visit.
[1] One of the best discussions in English can be found in the book by Prof. Gerald Blidstein, Honor Thy Father And Mother: Filial Responsibility in Jewish Law And Ethics, Jersey City, New York, Ktav Publishing, 1976 (augmented edition 2005). See chapter IV on Responsibility and Conflict, pp. 75 ff. On the dilemmas in caring for a sick parent see there, pp. 116-121. The book is downloadable for free at www.PDFEBookDS.com. [2] It is the only one of the Ten Commandments to establish a positive obligation of one person to another. For a plea to use this commandment for legal understanding and legislation see Charlotte K. Goldberg, "The Normative Influence of the Fifth Commandment on Filial Responsibility," Marquette Elder's Advisor, vol. 10, issue 2, 2009. Available at: http://scholarship.law.marquette.edu/elders/vol10/iss2/3 [3] See Yerushalmi Peah, 1, 1, Kiddushin 1, 7, Mechilta, Kedoshim, ch. 1. Rambam, hilchot mamrim, ch. 6, Shulchan Arukh, Yoreh Deah, Laws of Honoring Father and Mother, 240. [4] See Sefer ha-Chinuch, mitzvot 27 and 212, where the twin commands of honor and reverence are interpreted as a practical training ground to learn how to experience gratitude and to constantly be aware that it is our parents who were instrumental in the miracle of our personal existence. This quality can then facilitate a heightened appreciation of the Divine Benevolence that actualizes and sustains all life and existence. Sefer HaHinuch’s explanation is in line with his general rationale of mitzvot as a behavioristic way of inner emotional training and moral improvement. This is capsulized in his pithy rationale: The inner heart (feelings and attitudes) are fashioned by external actions. [5] Ethical egoism is the position that a moral agent ought to do what is in their own self-interest. It differs from psychological egoism which claims that people can only act in their self-interest and from rational egoism, which holds that it is rational to act in one's self-interest. For a good overview of these three types of “egoism” see Robert Shaver, "Egoism", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Winter 2010 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = <http://plato.stanford.edu/archives/win2010/entries/egoism/>. [6] For further reading see for example, Joshua May, “Altruism and Psychological Egoism,”
[7] Parents, by definition, give birth and raise their children. So also a tenant of Jewish belief is that God creates the world and sustains it. The juxtaposition of these two concepts implies that parents are partners with God in the acts of creation and sustenance. See Sifra (Weiss ed., 86d), Mekhitla (Horowitz ed. pg. 232), Kiddushin 30b, Niddah 31a, Kohelet Rabbah 5,10, Yerushalmi Pe’ah 1,1, 15c, Yerushalmi Kil’ayim 8,4, 31c.
Question: What are the differences (if any) between an Orthodox (Traditional) marriage ceremonies and a Progressive (Liberal) marriage ceremony?
Introduction: To properly answer your question I shall first explain how the Jewish wedding evolved from Biblical and Talmudic times and became a ceremony with three essential components and several optional customs.
A. Erusin and Nisuin – Wedding Antecedents
More than two millennia ago, the Jewish wedding process was divided into two distinct stages. The erusin àÅéøåÌñÄéï, betrothal,[1] later termed kedushin ÷ÄéãåÌùÄÑéï, took place in the house of the bride's parents.[2] It was accompanied by a blessing, birkat erusin. However, the marriage itself was consummated only at a later date, usually a few months later,[3] when the bride moved into the groom's house. It was then that blessings for the nesuinðÄéùÌÒåÌàÄéï , marriage, were recited. Later, in the Middle Ages (12th-14th centuries), the erusin was juxtaposed to the nesuin in one ceremony,[4] and the ketubah marriage document was inserted as a demarcating sign between the two. Ever since, a three part ceremony has become the standard template of the Jewish marriage.
B. The Tripartite Structure of Orthodox Wedding Ceremonies
Orthodox wedding ceremonies are structured around these three essential components, each of which is a specific form of nuptial commitment based on the three ways of marital acquisition stipulated in the first mishnah of tractate Kiddushin. They are: keseph (monetary value), shetar (document) and biah (physical entering, i.e., conjugal relations):
1. Keseph is represented by the ring presented by the groom to the bride. This is kiddushin, sanctification, and indicates that the woman is betrothed and the couple is now entering an exclusive relationship. After reciting a blessing over the wine, the officiating rabbi recites a blessing contrasting the forbidden sexual relationships to the sanctified covenant of wedlock. The groom then gives the bride a ring and proclaims "You are betrothed to me according to the law of Moses and Israel". Two designated witnesses testify "betrothed".
2. Shetar is the document which is now called ketubah ëÀÌúåÌáÈÌä. In Biblical times the groom gave an oral promise of payment (called mohar) to the father of the bride. In Talmudic times this obligation was formalized and written down in a document and therefore became to be known as ketubah (written down).[5] The requisite minimal amount was set at 200 dinar (later zuz[6]), and the obligation was now to pay the bride herself.[7] This was a considerable sum then, roughly enough for a year's living expenses.[8] As a result, many young bachelors were forced to delay their marriage until accumulating adequate funds. In the 1st century BCE, Shimon ben Shetach (c.120-40 BCE) instituted a decree to turn the 200 dinar into a type of loan that the bride would collect only after her husband died or divorced her. He also stipulated that the husband's possessions would serve as collateral for this possible future payment.[9] Another innovation in Talmudic times was to stipulate the obligations of the husband to support his wife and to fulfill all her needs. The ketubah also spelled out additional sums besides the 200 zuz and this was called tosefet ketubah. Furthermore, it detailed the dowry that the bride herself brought to the wedding. In effect, the ketubah had become a prototype of a prenuptial agreement and it was written in Aramaic, the lingua franca in Talmudic times. In Orthodox weddings the ketubah follows the original Aramaic formulations thus preserving the ancient spirit of the wedding formula down to antiquated particulars such as the 200 zuz. It is usually read aloud.[10]
3.Biah is represented symbolically by huppah çËôÈÌä (the wedding canopy) and by yihud éÄçåÌã. The latter means unity and signifies the unique unity of the married couple.[11] This third stage is the nesuin and is marked by Sheva Berakhot. These are composed of one blessing recited over a cup of wine and six blessings expressing joy and hope for the wedding.[12]
C. Additional Customs in Orthodox Wedding Ceremonies
Today, there are several additional customs that are standard in most Orthodox weddings. These include the receptions where the bride sits on a special bridal chair and the groom sits at another location at a tisch (Yiddish for table). The bedeken (covering, Hebrew, hinuma) heralds the ceremonial beginning as the groom is accompanied to the bridal chair and covers her face with a veil. After that, under the huppah, the bride circles the groom at least once, and in many weddings three or even seven times. Finally, a popular custom is the groom's breaking a glass and reciting two verses from Psalms 137, 5-6 which begin "If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let me forget my right hand".
While a typical Orthodox wedding ceremony (huppah) will last about 20 or 30 minutes, some are considerably longer. Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, the Rabbinic musical innovator of the 20th century, turned the Orthodox wedding into a major happening that lasted a couple of hours by interspersing stories, explanations, songs and drama.[13]
D. Non-Orthodox Weddings
Non Orthodox ceremonies adapt many of the above customs but rework them to fit modern concerns such as egalitarianism. For example, rings are exchanged, both groom and bride may circle each other, and the ketubah is rewritten to reflect modern cultural nuances and changing views on relationships. Furthermore, some non-Orthodox clergy revamp the ceremony to apply even to interfaith marriages and same sex marriages.[14]
Conclusion: To sum up, the tripartite template of a Jewish wedding ceremony begins with the act of erusin (betrothal) = kiddushin (sanctification), continues with the ketubah as a written document of obligations, and concludes with nisuin as a full marital exclamation of joy focusing on the sheva berakhot. In a way, it is like a prescribed musical score that can be varied and adapted according to personal and communal interests and wishes. However, the Orthodox weddings emphasize the necessity to adhere to the original structure, language and form as crystallized in Talmudic times, whereas non-Orthodox weddings innovate more liberally.
[1] The term erusin in the Bible indicates a betrothal (e.g., Exodus 22,15 and Deuteronomy 22, 23).
[2] Unlike today, marriages in Talmudic times typically took place at a younger age, and girls lived in their parents' home before moving to the house of their husband. On the topic of early marriage see my JVO response at http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/515.
[3] The time limit for the betrothed woman to get herself organized with clothing and necessities for marriage was 12 months for a virgin (i.e., a girl who had never been married and set up a household), and a maximum of 30 days for a widow (Mishnah Ketubot 5,2).
[4] See evidence from the early 14th century in the Tur, Even HaEzer 62,1, where R. Jacob ben Asher (died in Toledo, Spain about 1343), states that the custom now is to perform the erusin during the time of the huppah and therefore the erusin blessing is juxtaposed to the nisuin blessings, but each with its own cup of wine. Compare Avraham Chaim Freimann, The Order of Kiddushin and Nissu'in After the Conclusion of the Talmud, Jerusalem, 1945 [Hebrew].
[5] Meir Bar Ilan, "Marriage and Other Basic Problems in Ancient Jewish Society", Cathedra, 121 (2006), pp. 23-52 [Hebrew].
[6] In the Aramaic version of the ketubah the term zuz is used because in Babylonia, under the Sassanid Empire from the early 3rd century onward, the standard silver unit was the Sassanid drachm, called in the Talmud zuz from the Akkadian zuzu, "to cut". The 3rd century was one of inflation throughout the Roman Empire, so much so that by the 270s the denarius, instead of being 1/25 aureus was 1/1000. See Talmud Yerushalmi, Ketubot 11,2, 34b. For the coinage system see Daniel Sperber, "Coins in Talmudic Literature," in Arie Kindler, et al. "Coins and Currency," Encyclopaedia Judaica (ed. Michael Berenbaum and Fred Skolnik), 2nd ed., vol. 5, Detroit, 2007, pp. 52-53. In the 16th century, the halakhic evaluation for 200 zuz was established in the Shulhan Arukh as 120 grams of pure silver and according to the Ramah at 960 grams of pure silver.
[7] See the Mishnah in Ketubot 1,2 where the mandated sum is 200 (dinar) for a virgin (an unmarried woman) and 100 for a widow, i.e., a woman had been previously married. Compare Yerushalmi Ketubot, 67b (ch. 12, halacha 5) where ketubot can also be 1,000 dinar. Compare 64b (ch. 12, 1) where an obligation is to provide the bride 12 golden dinar a year for living expenses.
[8] The ketubah was meant to ensure an income for the woman should she be widowed or divorced. A minimal year's living expenses was approximately 200 zuz (dinarim). The average wage of a day laborer during the Tannaitic and early Amoraic period was 1 to 2 dinarim per day. An agricultural laborer who worked an average of 20 days a month (excluding Shabbat, festivals and sick days) earned between 20 to 40 dinarim a month. A person had to work between half an hour to an hour to earn the price of a loaf of bread. See Nisan Rubin, Time and the Life Cycle in Talmud and Midrash: Socio-Anthropological Perspectives, Brighton, Mass., 2008, ch. 4, pp. 75-76. For a listing of daily wages see Daniel Sperber, Roman Palestine 200-400: Money and Prices, Ramat Gan, 1974, pp. 101-102.
[9] See Ketubot 82b and Shabbat 14b. This is considered a radical document in its day because it provided women with legal status and rights in marriage that were not prevalent in ancient times. Compare See Yoel Shiloh, "The Financial Obligation in the Ketubah," Daf Shevui of Bar Ilan University Campus Rabbi, 681, 2007, www.biu.ac.il/jh/parasha/vayshlah/ish.html [Hebrew].
[10] Rashi in the 11th century began a custom of reading the ketubah under the wedding canopy.
[11] The idea of yihud as indicating a private meeting between groom and bride at a place set aside for the purpose is mentioned in Ketubot 54b; 56a, and later formulated in the halachic compilations of the Rambam, Hilchot Ishut 10:1, 2; and Shulhan Aruch, Even HaEzer 55:1-2. In some Sephardic Orthodox weddings the yihud takes place only after the end of the entire wedding celebration.
[12] The first two blessings celebrate the creation of the world and of human life. The earliest antecedent of these two blessings can be traced back to the Book of Tuviah in the Apocrypha about the 3rd century BCE. The other blessings describe how God brings joy to Zion through her children and specifically to groom and bride. The final blessing expresses hope for eternal happiness and peace for the bride and groom. The text and structure of these blessings was crystallized by the end of the 3rd century – beginning of the 4th century (Meir Bar-Ilan, The Bridegrooms' Diadem, Bnei Berak, 2004, pg. 99). The full text of all the blessings is presented in Bavli, Ketubot 7b-8a. The medieval halachic source placing these blessings as the prelude to the nesuin can be found in the Rambam in Hilkhot Ishut 10,3 followed by the Tur and the Shulhan Arukh in Even HaEzer, 62, 1.
[13] For an example of a Shlomo Carlebach wedding video posted on the web see Blip.TV, http://blip.tv/days/wasserman-wedding-with-rav-shlomo-carlebach-and-rabbi-david-stavsky-5101899. There on June 28, 1988, Reb Shlomo, together with his colleague Rabbi David Stavsky, performs the wedding of Harvey Wasserman and Susan Saks. Shlomo recites each of the seven blessings of the Sheva Berachot, interspersing explanations and songs, and taking about 20 minutes just for this segment. Afterwards, during the wedding reception he continues with music, storytelling, hermeneutical explanations, and personal references.
[14] See Rela M. Geffen, "Contemporary Innovations," in the entry on "Marriage" in Encyclopaedia Judaica (ed. Michael Berenbaum and Fred Skolnik), vol. 13, Detroit, pp. 573-574.
Question: In the Bedtime Shema, (Artscroll Sefard Edition), the opening verse says: "I hereby forgive anyone..." but ends with "I forgive every Jew."
Why does it not say "... and every Gentile?" Ultimately, all come from HaShem and all require forgiveness. Why not carry through the universality?
The pre bedtime prayer states: Master of the Universe, I hereby forgive anyone who angered or antagonized me or has sinned against me. It continues: No person (Hebrew = adam) should be punished because of me.
You ask about the words "I forgive every Jew". This is a translation from the Hebrew words lechol bar Yisrael, literally meaning "to all sons of Israel". These words are found in some prayer books such as the Art Scroll (both Ashkenazi and Sephardi) and first appeared in print in 1662[1]. However, an alternate reading is lechol ben adam, literally meaning "to all persons". This is the version used in two other popular prayer books, the Koren Siddur and Rinat Yisrael[2]. The second version may well have been the actual original phrase as it flows better in context. A similar prayer can be found in Tefilla Zaka recited in the beginning of Yom HaKippur (Day of Atonement services) where the term indeed is lechol adam, to all people.
The Talmudic source for the idea of forgiving other people at bedtime can be found in tractate Megillah 28a where Rabbi Nehunya ben HaKanah, a 1st-2nd century Mishnaic sage, is asked how he merited a long life. In his response he notes that he never went to sleep with a curse against a friend. The Talmud exemplifies this with a description of Mar Zutra's[3] practice of exclaiming before he went to sleep: "I forgive all who have caused me sorrow".
The pre-bedtime prayer that you quote is attributed to the Ari, Rabbi Isaac Luria in Safed in the 16th century who instituted a series of tikunim, meditative type inner rectifications that affect one's personal life on both the emotional and spiritual levels of existence. Before going to sleep one should first feel forgiveness towards others and then it is possible to turn towards God to ask forgiveness for oneself. Once one is in the forgiving mode of feeling, then it is appropriate to ask God for unconditional forgiveness. Therefore, his prayer concludes: "May it be Your Will, Hashem (God)… that you wipe away my sin with Your Infinite Mercy…". This idea of the Ari might be based on the verse in Isaiah 43:25, where God proclaims forgiveness to Israel for their sins without any prerequisite condition. Not even penitence is mentioned. God forgives simply for "My Own Sake".
Safed kabbalists in the time of the Ari had some rather universalistic expressions of compassion and love for all. Rabbi Hayyim Vital, Shaarei Kedusha, I: 5 states we should love all people, regardless of religion. Rabbi Moshe Cordevero, Tomer Devorah, requires having compassion for all people, indeed for all sentient beings. This is part of a religious-ethical imperative that is called imitatio Dei.
It seems therefore, that the original pre bedtime prayer of the Ari was meant to stimulate a mode of all-inclusive forgiveness. In the more insular societies where interaction is within a closed Jewish community this would mean forgiving fellow Jews. In the open pluralistic environments it can be rendered in its all-inclusive version of forgiving everyone.
[1] The source is Rabbi Natan Neta Hannover's siddur, Shaarei Tzion, Prague, 1662, under Tikun Keriyat Shemah, gate 5. This is a collection of mystical prayers and religious customs taken mainly from Kabbalistic sources. Rabbi Hannover died in Moravia in 1663.
[2] This can be found for example in the sidur of the Hida, Rabbi Haim Yosef David Azulai (1724 – 1806).
[3] Mar Zutra was a sixth generation amora, Talmudic sage in the early 5th century who headed the Yeshiva of Pumbedita in Babylonia.
Question: My wife and I have no sexual relations, which I find frustrating. Masturbating has become the norm. I feel that divorce may be necessary, because I am missing the closeness of a relationship. I am Jewish and she is not.
What do you advise?
I think that your question can be subdivided into four distinct issues:
These four topics have been addressed in other Jewish Values Online questions, so here I will state succinct answers and provide references to some of the relevant JVO responsa.
1. You imply that you are using masturbation as a substitute for a fulfilling conjugal relationship. I suggest that this is a warning sign, a wake up call to take action and change your situation. For more on masturbation according to Jewish authorities see the JVO discussion: www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=153&cprg=%2Fsearch.php%3Fsearchtxt%3Dsex%26what%3DA
2. Marital sex as a mitzvah is a necessary obligation; the absence of conjugal relations as grounds for divorce was addressed several times at JVO. For example, Rabbi Sanford Shudnow responded that a Jewish divorce is appropriate if a wife refuses to have intercourse for a year or more (Shulkhan Arukh, Even Ha-Ezer, Section 77). http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=180&cprg=%2Fsearch.php%3Fsearchtxt%3Dsex%26what%3DA.
3. Intimacy, emotional "closeness", is the essential glue of marital relationships. You are sure to find a plethora of websites offering advice on how to increase passion and create a more vibrant and fulfilling marriage. But, assuming that you have already exhausted the avenues of self-help books and marital counselors, the next question is whether it is time for you to open a new chapter in your book of life.
4. Marriage to a non-Jew. Since you have posed this question here on JVO, I guess that I should state the obvious – our tradition mandates marrying a Jew. See the JVO discussion "What does Judaism say about intermarriage?", http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=97&cprg=%2Fsearch.php%3Fsearchtxt%3Dintermarriage%26what%3DA.
In sum, the intermarriage consideration, together with your frustration, your lack of intimacy, and the absence of a close relationship, all come together pointing to a life changing time when you can strive to build a fulfilling relationship with a woman who will be your true partner and soulmate.
P.S. About soulmates, I refer you to my article on "Soulmates" published in The Encyclopedia of Love in World Religions, ABC-CLIO World Religions Project, Ed.: Dr. Yudit Kornberg Greenberg, Santa Barbara, California, et. al., November 2007, pp. 593-597.
Question: Just wondering if there is a simple and appropriate prayer for friendship. I teach preschool and I was hoping to find a prayer of thanks to others for their friendship.
I suggest beginning with the empathy prayer of the Hasidic master Rebbe Elimelech of Lizhensk (1717–1787)[1].
The underlying idea is that we ask for Divine Guidance to see the good in our friends and not dwell upon their shortcomings. Here is an abbreviated version specially adapted for your preschoolers:
May we see only the good in our friends and not their shortcomings.
May we instruct each other in justness, empathy and genuine love.
Here is a translation of Rebbe Elimelech's original prayer where the Power of Divine Providence is invoked:
Protect and shield us from jealousy between a person and his/her friend.
Let not jealousy enter our hearts and may others not be jealous of us.
On the contrary, place in our hearts the ability to see only the good in our friends, and not their shortcomings!
May we instruct each other in the just and desirable way before You.
And may there be no hate between friends God forbid.
Perhaps you might like to add the musical notation to this prayer by using the tune of he popular Hasidic singer, Avraham Fried (born 1959). His song was published in January 1991[2] and can be heard on many websites[3].
For a longer explanation please see my booklet Radiating Love for Healing: Mirror Neurons, Healing Modalities & Jewish Meditative Tradition, Jerusalem, 2012 (Write to me at Natan21@zahav.net.il to receive a copy of the booklet, power point presentation and recording). Here is a brief excerpt adapted from the booklet:
The prayer of Rebbe Elimelech is a practical elaboration of an idea first expressed by Safed Kabbalists in the 16th century and then incorporated as a preface to the daily Morning Service. It is based upon the Biblical commandment (mitzvah) to love one's fellow as oneself (VeAhavta LeReacha Kamocha - Leviticus 19, 18) as interpreted mystically by leading Safed Kabbalists, the Ari, R. Yitzhak Luria (1534-1572), R. Moshe Cordevero ((1522-1570 and R. Hayim Vital (1542-1620). They pictured this mitzvah as a prerequisite to enabling prayer to move up properly towards Heaven because when a community prays together, the souls are united in loving kindness to form one cohesive spiritual entity.
In his book Gate of Kavvanot, 1b, R. Hayyim Vital explains: Before one fixes his prayer in the synagogue, he needs to accept upon himself the mitzvah of "loving your fellow person as yourself", and love each one of Israel as he loves his own soul. This injunction was then incorporated into codified Halakhic writings beginning with R. Avraham Halevi Gombiner (1637-1683), Magen Avraham, Shulhan Arukh, Orach Hayyim, Hilchot Berakhot, 46. He wrote that before the Morning Prayers, one should accept upon oneself the positive mitzvah of loving one's fellow as oneself[4].
Now back to your original question. I suggest that with this example of a prototype of a friendship prayer, you then ask your young disciples to share their ideas of what to pray for in terms of friendship, understanding and empathy. Maybe have them draw, create or express in their own way what it means to nurture a relationship and delight in interacting in a meaningful way of VeAhavta LeReacha Kamocha.
[1] R. Elimelech, a student of the Magid of Mezeritch, is a leading figure of the third generation of Hasidic masters.
[4] R. Shmuel Neta Halevi of Kolin, Mahatsit ha-shekel, comments on the Magen Avraham: If God forbid, there is a divisiveness of hearts, then the souls of Israel are not united above. But when each person accepts the positive mitzvah of loving one's fellow, through their mutual love they are physically in harmony below and bring spiritual unity in the Supernal Universes. This idea is repeated by R. Shlomo Ganzfried (1804-1886) in the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (12,2) who adds that by unifying the prayer in love and harmony, it becomes accepted before God.
Question: What is structured (fixed) prayer all about in Judaism? Can’t we just speak directly to Hashem (G-d) in our own words and language?
Yes we can speak directly. In fact, the Hasidic master, Rabbi Nahman of Breslov (1772-1810) recommends setting aside time each day for hitbodedut, to be alone with God in spontaneous and intimate discourse. In this hitbodedut one should strive to attain a purity of heart and clarity of intention in order to discern the Divine Words as they arise in one's heart.[1] R. Nahman considers true hitbodedut a form of Divine Inspiration and assumes that this is how King David composed the Psalms (see full citation below).
King David actually had two modes of composition according to the Talmud in Pesachim 117a. When a Psalm begins with the caption "For David a Hymn (Mizmor)” it indicates that David was in a muse of Divine Inspiration. But a caption with the reverse word order, "A Hymn for David,” indicates that he needed to sing a routine song in order to facilitate a receptive inspirational mode. Ideally we should be able to speak directly in inspirational language, but often it is necessary to rely upon preset formulae.
That helps answer the first part of your query. The fixed prayers of Jewish liturgy were originally spontaneous creations. They developed in popular culture and prayer assemblies. But with the anguish of exile and a distancing from God, it became more difficult to pray spontaneously. A liturgy was standardized to define a set focus for thoughts and emotions[2].
Now it would be ideal if we could compose sonnets like Shakespeare, write music like Beethoven and prophesize like Isaiah. However, truly meaningful "God language" is not common parlance, and not everyone is a saintly prophet with a pure heart. In practicality, it becomes necessary to rely upon masterpieces created by others. But the good news is that Jewish liturgy is like a musical score; the direction is fixed, but the singers can and should provide their interpretations[3]. Take the Blessing After Meals. First, you express gratitude for a satisfying meal, but then come supplications voicing national dreams and universal aspirations such as the rebuilding of Jerusalem, redemption and lasting peace. It is up to the person to add kavvanot, intentions and meanings[4].
Similarly, the Amidah (Standing Prayer) is a synopsis of classical beliefs crystallized from Rabbinic formulations of two thousand years ago. It is a three part set of blessing formulae intended to focus thoughts and emotions. The first part sets the tone by defining a relationship to God in the three blessings, Avot, Gevurot and Kedushat Hashem, i.e., God of our ancestors, Almighty and Omnipotent, and the Holy One Who transcends all human categories. The middle section contains specific supplications. The concluding blessings express gratitude and confidence in God's Graciousness (Talmud Berakhot 34a). The structure sets the tone. The individual's kavvanot are meant to innovate personal relevancies.
In sum, spontaneous individual prayer has its value but the structured form as printed in prayer books is vital especially in group settings and prayer quorums (minyanim) where people flow together in a harmonious orchestra, all on the same page.
I conclude with a diary entry describing the spiritual prayer experiences of Rabbi Abraham Isaac HaCohen Kook:
Expanses, Expanses,
Expanses Divine my soul craves.
Confine me not in any cage, neither corporeal nor spiritual…
My soul soars and flies above these – for the full citation see source #2 below.
Sources
1. Rabbi Nahman of Breslov, Likutey Moharan, I, 156, commenting on the verse in Psalms 51, 12: "God, create a pure heart for me, and renew a correct spirit within me". For that of which one speaks directly to his Maker is a form of Ruach Hakodesh (Divine Inspiration). King David had this unique quality on the highest level and that is how he composed the book of Psalms. Each individual according to his own level can have a type of Ruach Hakodesh as the verse in Psalms 27,8 states "To You my heart says". as Rashi comments, "To You" means for You and in Your Service. For that which spontaneous arises in the heart is in reality Words of God and thus it is a form of Divine Inspiration. And one needs to continuously innovate, to request anew what is necessary in this world, although to merit this, a purity of the heart is required. And this purity is when one's heart is excited and energized in love to God, for that is how the heart is purified…
2. The first chief Rabbi of Israel, Rav Avraham Yitzhak HaCohen Kook experienced prayer as a pulsating yearning of his Soul struggling to emerge from concealment and aspiring towards the Source of life (Shemonah Kevatzim, 7, 221, pg. 397 = Lights of Holiness, vol. 1, pg. 172). Rav Kook's poetic description of the free flight of his soul is recorded in a diary entry in the year 1913 when he was chief Rabbi of Jaffa (Shemonah Kevatzim, 3, 279, pg. 442):
Expanses, Expanses,
Expanses Divine my soul craves.
Confine me not in any cage, neither corporeal nor spiritual.
Neither walls of heart nor walls of deed, morality, logic, custom, nothing can enclose her.
My soul soars and flies above these,
Above all that can be called by any name.
Beyond all pleasure, all grace and beauty,
Even above all that is exalted and ethereal.
I am love sick (Song of Songs 2,5).
[1] In modern times, some commentators have interpreted R. Nahman's hitbodedut as not merely spontaneous prayer but as a specific form of Jewish meditation. See Aryeh Kaplan, Meditation and Kabbalah, York Beach, 1982, ch. 7, Rabbi Nachman's Way, pp. 306-313, and especially the quote from Likutei Moharan, tinyana 25: "Set aside an hour or more each day to meditate, in the fields or in a room, pouring out your thoughts to God" (ibid., pg. 310). Compare Aryeh Kaplan, Jewish Meditation: A Practical Guide, New York, 1985, ch. 10: "Many Jews are surprised to learn that there is an unbroken tradition of spontaneous prayer in the Jewish religion… worship services can at times become dry and sterile. One's own personal prayers, on the other hand, are always connected to the wellsprings of the heart" (pg. 93). Compare also Aryeh Kaplan, Rabbi Nachman's Wisdom, Breslov Research Institute, Monsey New York, 1973.
[2] For a specific example of this process see the response that I wrote for JVO about the Shehechiyanu Blessing - http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/512.
[3] Compare Herman Wouk, This Is My God, Garden City, 1959 (renewed edition 1987), ch. 8, A Night at the Opera.
[4] Compare Abraham J. Heschel, Man's Quest for God: Studies in Prayer and Symbolism, New York, 1954, pg. 26: In prayer, as in poetry, we turn to the words, not to use them as signs for things, but to see the things in the light of the words.
Question: What does Judaism say about dating? In modern society people commonly lead to marriage through dating. Is there a different prescribed method in Judaism?
[Administrators note: See also related JVO question: http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=618]
Today, in the 21st century Internet Age, Judaism has a lot to say about dating (see below). But in the time of Tevye, in the Russian shtetl in 1905, it was a radical break with tradition. Yente the matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof is certain that the wealthy butcher is a great match for Tzeitel, Tevye's oldest daughter, but Tzeitel rebelliously chooses Motel the tailor. Next, Tevye's 2nd daughter marries the revolutionary Perchik. Finally, the 3rd daughter runs off with the non-Jew Fyedka. Simultaneously humorous and tragic, the romantic quest of Tevye's daughters reveals the breakdown of parental/communal authoritative matchmaking. Indeed, Tevye's theme song Tradition, Tradition sums up his last gasping plea as he realizes that he cannot controvert the autonomous romanticism of the daughters he so cherishes.
This challenge to Tradition is illustrated in the writings of two famous Biblical commentators in the 19th century. The Malbim, Rabbi Meir Leibush (1809-1879), in his commentary on Deuteronomy 24,1 (divorce), decries the newfound notions of love, warning that immature romanticism dissipates rapidly because it is grounded in the quicksand of unrealistic expectations. The Malbim propounds adhering to Tradition where true love is designed to develop only within the context of marriage. He cites the precedent of Isaac and Rebecca and acknowledges that initial compatibility is important but that a lasting love can and should sprout within marriage. Similarly, Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch (1808–1888), leader of 19th century German Jewry, comments on Genesis 24,67, where Isaac began to love Rebecca after their marriage: See the romantic novels. Love peaks before marriage and then dwindles and peters out. But marriages based on sound and rational decision-making involving parents and family creates a far more successful long lasting love.
To this day, in many ultra-orthodox communities, matchmakers and family figures are the influential factors in marital choice. Contrastingly, in the rest of the Jewish world, dating and romanticism figure prominently. But which works "better"? Yale Professor, Theodore Lidz, concluded: "There is little if any evidence that the contemporary freedom to select partners has led to happier marriages". Lidz explained that the modern phenomenon of dating reflects our "individualistic, democratic society in which decision making rests primarily upon the two persons who are marrying", but that this is not a guarantee for more successful marriages[1]. Similarly, in a classic study comparing arranged marriages in Tokyo with romantic marriages in Detroit, it was found that although the American marriages started out with a higher level of expressed love, there was no significant difference between the two groups after ten years of marriage.[2]
Now to your question. Today, there are many sources on the Web which provide guidance and information about dating, marital choice and matchmaking. Here is a good site to begin with because it organizes and describes dozens of Jewish dating resources and sites: http://www.shidduchim.info/sites.html#resources
In today's world of Orthodoxy, matchmaking is combined with multifarious forms of dating. Here is a sample citation from http://www.jewishdatingandmarriage.com: Sasson V'Simcha (in Toronto Canada) provides "premarital education and counseling in order to establish happy, stable marriages. We offer shidduch guidance, educational programs, and run events for singles. We network with other like-minded organizations to maximize the opportunities for our clients to build batim ne'emanim b'yisroel" <literally, faithful houses in Israel>.
To get a more thorough picture of the Jewish world of dating, you might explore some of these dating sites: DosiDate, JDate, Jewish Cafe, Jaters, Premier Jewish Introductions, JHearts, Frumster, Future Simchas, Frumsky, MetroChai, Saw You At Sinai, Spirit Jewish Singles, Jewish Dating World, JMatch, Yid.com, JLove.com.
For other examples of Jewish dating see the Aish HaTorah site www.aish.com; http://jewishclub.com/Dating-Advice.php?fieldlan=eng;. http://www.jewishdatingreview.com/index.php
Finally, I suggest looking at http://www.kabbalah-dating.com of Malka Faden's innovative Kabbalah-Dating Workbook: Faden: With Kabbalah-Dating, you will learn to evaluate a partner and progress towards a realistic, long-term commitment; Improve all of your relationships; Understand breakups; Discover fulfillment on your own.
So, in conclusion, there is a plethora of practical advice in Judaism about how to find the "right match" and develop successful relationships. But although we have come a long way since Tevye's heartfelt cry of Tradition, Tradition, I would imagine that both Tevye and his daughters would still have a difficult time today navigating the challenges of romance and marriage.
Question: Is it okay for a Jewish woman to wear short shorts, spaghetti straps, or bikinis? What concerns might there be as far as Jewish values? Is the answer different in the various denominations or movements of Judaism?
The way a person dresses often indicates a self-identification, sense of personality and communal affiliation. While the other panelists here explain the considerations in their denominations, it should be noted that Orthodoxy itself is not monolithic and a range of practices exists. A haredi ultra-orthodox Bais Yaakov woman will wear long sleeves and long skirts, whereas a typical modern Orthodox woman may have sleeves above or just below the elbow.
Thus, for example, Rabbi Pesach Falk promotes the strict interpretation[1] while Rabbi Yehuda Henkin argues that the halachic dress code should be evaluated in a cultural context because sensuality is subjective and needs to be judged based on community norms[2]. Even within modern Orthodoxy there are several decisive nuances. Much like the kippah color and size that men wear, the brevity and style of dress can indicate a specific self-identification. In essence, in the Jewish world, short shorts and bikinis often transmit a covert message of religious affiliation.
An underlying concern in the Orthodox responsa literature and in the musar (ethical) discussions is how to reconcile the values of tzni'ut (modesty) with expressions of beauty. There is a plethora of writings on the philosophy of tzni'ut and I bring here three sample excerpts which I have edited/shortened slightly:
Dina Coopersmith: If women are viewed externally, devoid of internal character and spirituality, they are stripped of their unique gift and strength. A danger exists that they will be objectified and degraded. In fact, we see that cultures which admire women primarily for their physical characteristics ultimately degrade them and take advantage of them. Women would do well to de-emphasize their bodies in order to emphasize that which is their real beauty: their inner strengths, their souls. Of course, none of this implies that women shouldn't look beautiful.[3]
Rabbi Maurice Lamm: Tzni'ut implies modesty in dress. Traditionally covered parts of the body should not be exposed, although one can dress stylishly. Tzni'ut was intended to preserve the sanctity of the inner human being from assault by the coarseness of daily life. Psalms 45, 14 says "The whole glory of the daughter of the king is within". Dignity comes not from exposure and indecent exhibition, but from discretion and the assurance that the human being will be considered a private, sensitive being, not merely a body. The antonym of tzni'ut is hefkerut, looseness, the absence of restraint and inhibition. In its extreme, it is gross immorality, gilui arayot (uncovering of nakedness)[4].
Rabbi Dov Linzer: Jewish tradition teaches men and women alike that they should be modest in their dress. But modesty should not be narrowly defined by how much of one's body is covered. It is also about comportment and behavior. It is about recognizing that one need not be the center of attention. It is about embodying the prophet's call for modesty: "Walk humbly with your God" (Micha 6, 8)[5].
In sum, from the perspective of Orthodoxy, dressing in a non-provocative fashion and projecting a modest style is meant to be a statement of values and an expression of personality, and not merely a mechanical compliance to halachic standards.
[1] Rabbi Pesach Eliyahu Falk, Modesty: An Adornment for Life – Halachos and Attitudes Concerning Tzinyus of Dress and Conduct, Jerusalem, 1998.
[2] Rabbi Yehuda Henkin, Understanding Tzniut: Modern Controversies in the Jewish Community, Urim Publications, Jerusalem, 2008.
[3] Dina Coopersmith, "Beneath the Surface: A Deeper Look at Modesty," http://www.aish.com/ci/w/48964691.html
[4] Rabbi Maurice Lamm, The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage, New York, 1980, 1991, pp. 99-102.
[5] Dov Linzer, "Lechery, Immodesty and the Talmud," The New York Times, op-ed, January 20, 2012, pg. A27, http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/20/opinion/ultra-orthodox-jews-and-the-modesty-fight.html
Question: What is the Jewish perspective on trust? Is it ever permitted to betray someone's trust? What type of person should be trusted? Is being trustworthy a mitzvah (commandment)?
You ask four different questions. I shall respond briefly to each, and then add a 5th question based on the neuropsychology of "trust" in order to understand why some people are more trustworthy than others and how "trust molecules" can be cultivated.
1. "Trust" in the Bible refers to being faithful and relying upon the other. The term used is bitachon. One is exhorted to trust in God and not in mortal benefactors (Psalms 115; 118,8-9; 143,3-4). The prophet Jeremiah goes so far as to proclaim, cursed is the person who puts his trust in human beings rather than in God (Jeremiah 17,5). A different construct began emerging in Rabbinic discussions on how to create and maintain just and honest societal conventions. Several Talmudic tractates deal with when and how to trust another person. Thus, for example, Bava Metzia chapters 1-5 deals with a shomer hinam, a trustee who takes care of the property of another person gratis, and chapters 6-7 discuss a shomer sakhar, a paid trustee. Today, in Modern Hebrew, the terms for interpersonal trust are neamanut (faithfulness, loyalty, reliability) and aminut (credibility).
2. Yes, sometimes it is permitted to "betray" trust. Higher values may trump a personal promise. In Jewish ethical thought moral absolutism is a rarity. Many Halachic responsa clarify when to maintain rules and regulations and when other values win out. Thus, for example, trust may be violated for the greater good of saving lives. Similarly, modern ethical theory ranges from approaches such as deontology versus virtue ethics. A deontologist (from the Greek deon, obligation, duty) assumes that the agent should act in accordance with a prevailing moral obligation such as "What is hateful to you, do not do to your friend (the tanna Hillel in Shabbat 31a). Whereas, in virtue ethics, moral reasoning emphasizes an overriding value such as benevolence and the greater good.
3. Trustworthiness of another person assumes character traits such as integrity, truthfulness, honesty, reliability, responsibility, concern and discernment. Conversely, you would hesitate to trust a person exhibiting harmful character traits such as envy, disparagement and excessive egoism.
4. Many mitzvot imply trustworthiness as a value, e.g. "Love thy neighbor as you love yourself", or "do not lie", or "do not covet". Trustworthiness as a virtue ethic is often subsumed under the all-inclusive mitzvah of leading a virtuous life, "Do what is just and good" (Deuteronomy 6, 18). It is implied in moral injunctions such as "You should travel on the path of goodness, and keep the ways of the righteous" (Proverbs 2, 20). Scholars in Orthodox Judaism such as Rabbi Prof. Walter Wurzburger have advocated a Jewish virtue ethic that can be integrated with the Halachic system[1].
5. Why are some people trustworthy, while others lie, cheat and steal? Paul J. Zak, who directs the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies at Claremont Graduate University, suggests that oxytocin may explain the neuropsychology of trust, empathy and virtue. In our blood and in the brain, oxytocin appears to be the chemical elixir that creates bonds of trust not just in intimate relationships but also in business dealings, politics and society at large. Zak suggests various ways of triggering this "moral molecule" and creating mutual trust[2].
Zak's book, published May 10, 2012, is worth analyzing from a Jewish perspective. Many practices, norms and rituals embedded in Judaism would seem to foster the triggering of oxytocin in a natural and spontaneous way. This is a byproduct of "social mitzvot" that create supportive caring from birth to death, marriage to divorce. It is worth further investigation to determine if and how communal celebrations, prayer quorums and mandates of virtuous behavior might help engender trust, empathy and kindness on both the individual and societal levels.
[1] See Eliezer L. Jacobs and Shalom Carmy (eds.), Covenantal Imperatives: Essays by Walter S. Wurzburger on Jewish Law, Thought, and Community, Urim Publishers, 2008. Yitzchak Blau, "The Implications of a Jewish Virtue Ethic", Torah U-Madda Journal 9, 2000, pp. 19-41.
[2] See Paul J. Zak, The Moral Molecule: The Source of Love and Prosperity, Boston, Dutton Publishers, May, 2012. http://www.moralmolecule.com; video.ted.com/talk/podcast/2011G/None/PaulZak_2011G.mp4
Question: I am an avid meditator, and given that the eastern meditative techniques are so prevalent, I have grown accustomed to doing certain "chakra meditations." However, the Chakras are an eastern concept, and Judaism has the sefirot. So for a Jewish soul, do the Chakras exist? Or, do we use the sefirot instead because our souls and bodies resonate with a different divine energy altogether?
Before answering the question of a possible kabbalistic correlation to chakra meditation, I suggest first clarifying what exactly is meant by "chakras". Are chakras a nebulous metaphysical concept derived from Far Eastern religion and popularized in New Age Movements? Or can they be corroborated in scientific understanding?
Chakras are considered to be "energy centers" or focal-points of consciousness within the "subtle body"[1]. These are located on ascending points on the spinal column corresponding to stages on the path to enlightenment. Ascending the chakra steps is known as "raising the kundalini"[2]. Skeptical critics assert that because these "subtle energies" are not detectable in scientific labs therefore they contradict empirical understandings of Western medicine. To complicate matters, one finds contradictory ideas about the number of chakras, their nature, form and location[3].
So why is the Hindu-Buddhist tradition of chakras so popular in the West? The reason is that chakra theory plays a major role in New Age healing modalities and mind-body practices such as meditation, Ayurvedic medicine, energy healing, acupuncture, acupressure, Reiki, chromotherapy, aromatherapy, Shiatsu, T'ai Chi, Qigong, yoga and breathing exercises of pranayama. As a leading researcher of the New Age writes: "In many healing practices, these chakras function as the conceptual foundation both for the unity of mind and body (because as 'subtle centres' they are in between both), and for the unity of healing and spiritual growth (because successively 'opening the chakras' is synonymous with attaining enlightenment)"[4].
But the question remains. Are chakras simply inexplicable "centers of metaphysical energy" or can they be explained from some sort of objective or medical perspective? Continuous subjective reports of the success of chakra related healing have stimulated some researchers into exploring new scientific explanations. Richard Maxwell, a clinical neuropsychologist, suggests that chakras are intercellular gap junction connections. Maxwell assumes that subtle systems using gap junctions are activated, changing energetic states in groups of cells and opening connections between different compartments within the glial syncytium. Chakra meditation thus functions "to increase the prevalence of gap junctions and integrate compartments within the glial network, ultimately allowing a full electrical unification of the spine and brain"[5].
So now to answer your question. If you are practicing chakra meditation in an alternative healing setting or within a quasi medical perspective then it is not necessarily wise to try and replace them with sefirot. Although such parallels have been suggested[6], there are significant differences in both the epistemological meaning and theological context, and the two cannot be simply interchanged. However, if you are using chakra meditation to raise kundalini as a way to enlightenment and you are looking for a Jewish spiritual-religious practice then indeed I would recommend Jewish meditation.
[1] The subtle body is said to consist of elements or organs such as chakras, nadis (channels) and even deities and cosmic correspondences. For a comparison of how different spiritual traditions understand the "subtle body" see http://www.kheper.net/topics/subtlebody/correspondences.html where ancient Egyptian, Indian Vedanta, Neoplatonic-Hermetic classifications, Theosophy and Anthroposophy traditions are compared.
[2] See Michael York, "Chakras", The Historical Dictionary of New Age Movements, Lanham, Maryland, 2004, pp. 42-43. The idea of the subtle vital force (prana) and the channels along which it flows (nadis) appear in the earliest Upanishads (7th-8th century BCE). In the later Upanishads (2nd century BCE – 2nd century CE) reference is first made to Tantric concepts such as chakras and mantras.
[3] See for example Arvan Harvat, "The difficulty of a unified chakra science"
http://www.kheper.net/topics/chakras/no_unanimity.html, accessed April 2, 2012.
[4] Wouter J. Hanegraaff, "The New Age Movement and Western Esotericism," in Daren Kemp and James R. Lewis (eds.), Handbook of New Age, Leiden and Boston, 2007, pp. 25-50.
[5] Richard Maxwell, "The Physiological Foundation of Yoga Chakra Expression", Zygon, Journal of Religion and Science, December 2009, vol. 44, issue 4, pp. 807-824. This chakra hypothesis differs from other theories proposed in neuropsychology because it deemphasizes the role of networks of chemical synapses and instead looks at the electrical networks and endocrine effects.
[6] For one of the earliest attempts by someone with Rabbinical training at comparing tantric chakras and "the sephirot system" see William T. Blank, Torah, Tarot & Tantra: A Guide to Jewish Spiritual Growth, Boston, 1991, ch. 8, The Experience of God, pp. 106-109.
Question: Is the divide between the ultra-Orthodox and other denominations (modern orthodox, conservative and reform) too great to promote a better understanding and respect between each other?
1. No. I don't think that the "divide" is "too great to promote a better understanding and respect". Admittedly, like any functioning (or dysfunctional) family, there is no shortage of disagreements within a Jewish community of approximately 13.3 million worldwide. However, all too often the "divides" become exaggerated when the media highlights the extraordinary, dramatizes the fringes and portrays vitriolic disputes. An example is the book Jew vs. Jew: The Struggle for the Soul of American Jewry, New York, 2000. The author, Samuel Freedman, a former New York Times reporter who teaches at Columbia's School of Journalism, presents six case studies to show that America's 6 million Jews have splintered into factions at war: "I have witnessed the struggle for the soul of American Jewry. It is a struggle that pits secularist against believer, liberal against conservative, traditionalist against modernist even within each branch [of Judaism]. It is a struggle that has torn asunder families, communities, and congregations." Freedman suggests that the hostility has reached crisis proportions, even calling it a "civil war". However, it would appear that Freedman, ever the enthusiastic journalist, highlights the headline-making conflicts and downplays the quiet attempts at promoting understanding within Jewish society.
2. To rectify the "divide" I suggest beginning with a semantic correction. Instead of the term "ultra-Orthodox" it is preferable to use "Haredi" and thus avoid unnecessary negativity, prejudice and demonization[1]. Haredim do not refer to themselves as "ultra-Orthodox", but use terms such as "religious" (dati), "Torah observant" and the like. Interestingly, Canada's Centre for Faith and Media advises journalists to avoid the term ultra-Orthodox not only because of the pejorative connotations of extremism but also because there is no parallel analogue of "ultra-Reform"[2].
3. There are many different types of haredim ranging from a multiplicity of Hasidic groups to Lithuanian-Yeshivish streams and Sephardi Haredim. True, some groups such as Satmar insulate themselves from secular society, but others are actively involved. For example, Habad emissaries the world over are active in seeking ways of communication and togetherness, albeit within a tightly set frame of reference. So I would suggest that your question be refined to ask how dialogue can be fostered and with which groups of haredim.
4. Although the "divide" is often reinforced because the haredi communities have their own neighborhoods, schools and synagogues, nonetheless, most haredi communities are not so insulated as to be immune to Western culture, and in actuality, there is significant acculturation into the secular world[3]. This multiplies the opportunities for improving dialogue.
5. The specific "divide" you mention begins because the Haredi belief system does not allow recognition of non-Orthodox institutions and Rabbis. Here in Israel this is a major issue that plays out as a power struggle fueled not only by sensationalist media expressions but also by political forces that may benefit from publicizing stereotyped judgments. However, there are people in the haredi world involved in building bridges. True, these efforts are often "outreach" missions to bring Torah observance to the assimilated Jew, but they also serve an important role in encouraging direct contact and increasing mutual understanding. For example, Project Seed, funded by Torah Umesorah, a haredi organization based in New York, sends volunteer Yeshiva students to far-flung small Jewish communities where they teach classes or supervise children in summer day-camps. They help create mini Yeshivas, foster learning, create a Shabbat atmosphere, and assist in social programming. You might argue that such goals are "missionary", but most often the end result is a heightened understanding and appreciation.
6. An illustration of how stereotypes can be dispelled through dialogue is evidenced in the book, One People, Two Worlds: A Reform Rabbi and an Orthodox Rabbi Explore the Issues That Divide Them, 2003. This is a collection of 39 email exchanges between Orthodox Rabbi Yosef Reinman who was ordained in the Haredi Yeshiva of Lakewood and Reform Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch, currently senior rabbi of the Stephen Wise Free Synagogue. The conclusion of Rabbi Reinman: "On most things we agreed to disagree". “I disagree with that,” Rabbi Hirsch interjects. “I hope the reader will be attuned to significant areas of commonality. We are all born out of the same tradition, with the same historical experiences, the same ethical traditions, common Jewish destiny. We speak the same language, study the same texts, observe the same festivals. This disagreement that we have is within these parameters. These are disagreements that all people of good faith have if they take the subject matter seriously.” “I’ll agree,” Rabbi Reinman replies. “Except for that we come from the same tradition. We do share history and common destiny. I hope that we do share a love for each others as brothers, even though we totally disagree and there’s no way of reconciling ideologies ... Every Jews is precious, has a Jewish soul.”
7. I will end on a personal note. My son Yaakov, who is currently studying a doctoral student in psychology here at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, is one of the founders of an organization called FRSU – the Forum for Rapprochement between Secular and Ultra-Orthodox. The Forum's goal is to further communal projects of reconciliation and rapprochement between the haredi sector and the general population. FRSU is attempting to create settings where secular Jews and haredim can learn about each other in a congenial environment. The vision is to reduce the distrust and dispel stereotyped portrayals thus facilitating a more harmonious Israeli society.
[1] See Ami Ayalon, "Language as a barrier to political reform in the Middle East", International Journal of the Sociology of Language, vol. 37, 1999, pp. 67–80: 'Haredi' is preferable, being a term commonly used by such Jews themselves... Moreover, it carries none of the venom often injected into the term 'ultra-Orthodox' by other Jews and, sadly, by the Western media.". Similarly, Rabbi Dr. Norman Lamm, Seventy Faces: Articles of Faith, 2001, pg. 1: I prefer the Hebrew term Haredi because it is not pejorative and is the one used by the Haredim to identify themselves."
[2] http://www.faithandmedia.org/cms/uploads/files/8_guide-judaism.pdf
[3] See for example Yoel Finkelman, Strictly Kosher Reading: Popular Literature and the Condition of Contemporary Orthodoxy, Boston Academic Studies Press, 2011. http://www.strictlykosherreading.blogspot.com/
Question: Why do [most] synagogues around the world position the Torah ark so that the congregants face in the direction of Jerusalem? What is the source for the spiritual concept that prayers do not ascend directly to heaven but rather go first to the Jerusalem Temple and from there upwards [if this is the concept]?
The idea of prayer going via Jerusalem - Temple Mount and from there to the Heavenly Temple begins with Jacob's Ladder at Beit El (Genesis 28), is followed by I Kings 8, 48-49, then formulated in the Talmud and Midrash, codified in halacha and explicated in Kabbalistic/Hasidic commentaries. It not only reflects the centrality of Jerusalem for Jewish practice and belief but also underscores the spiritual implications of a "mystical prayer trajectory". 1. Jacob dreams of a ladder reaching up into the heavens with angels ascending and descending. Upon awakening, he declares, "this is the House of the Lord and the Gate of Heaven" (Genesis 28,12-19). Although archaeologists have suggested locating the actual site near today's modern settlement of Beit El, in Rabbinic literature the dream location was interpreted as referring to the landmark of the Temple Mount and reflecting the direct route to the Supernal Temple (Genesis Rabbah 39,7; Talmud Pesachim 88a). This is explicitly understood in Midrash Pirkei R. Eliezer, ch. 35 (82b), that prayer in this Holy site is directly before the Throne of Glory because the Gate of Heaven is there, open to hear prayer. Thus Rashi (1040-1105) explains Genesis 28,17 as the place where prayer ascends upwards, adding that the Midrash identifies the Supernal Temple as positioned directly above the Earthly Temple. 2. When King Solomon dedicates the first Temple in the new capital city of Jerusalem, he proclaims: From all over the world, people should turn towards Jerusalem to the Temple and then "You will hear their supplications in Your Dwelling Place Above" (I Kings 8,49, II Chronicles 6,32-40). 3. The proof text for the halachic injunction of praying with the windows open towards Jerusalem (Shulkhan Arukh, Orach Hayyim 90,4) is from Daniel 6,11 where Daniel prayed three times a day with his windows opened towards Jerusalem. Excavations of ancient synagogues show that the earliest houses of worship had their entrances facing Jerusalem, and the portals indicated the sacred direction. 4. The concept of a Heavenly Dwelling Place directly above the earthly Temple Mount is expounded upon in midrashic sources such as the Mechilta on Beshalach 10 (pp. 149-150) in an exegetical play of words. A Place for Your Dwelling ("machon leshivtecha") in Exodus 15,17 is understood as "mechuvan", namely that the Earthly Temple is focused directly towards the Heavenly Throne. Similarly, in the Jerusalem Talmud, Berakhot, ch. 4, mishnah 5 (8b-c), it is advised to pray with a focus of one's heart towards the Temple Inner Sanctuary (Holiest of Holies) which is poised directly towards the Supernal Holy of Holies. 5. This brings us to the key passage that answers your question. It is found in Tosefta Berakhot 3,16 (and Talmud Berakhot 30a). It proscribes the direction of prayer (referring to the Standing Prayer, the Amidah): If one is standing outside of the Land of Israel, one should direct one's heart towards Israel. In the Land, one should focus towards Jerusalem; in Jerusalem, the focus is towards the Temple; in the Temple it is to the Holy of Holies. The proof text is 1 Kings 8 (as noted above). The conclusion is that in this way all of Israel will focus their hearts in the same direction no matter where their physical location may be. 6. This directive is then integrated into the authoritative Halachic compilations in the Middle Ages. Maimonides (1138-1204), Laws of Prayer, 5, 3 quotes this passage with a slight but significant change – Not only should one focus one's heart towards the Temple in the Amidah prayer, but one should also turn one's face towards the Temple. The Tur (R. Jacob ben Asher, 1269–1343), Orach Hayyim 94, defines the direction as East (= Mizrach) for those in the Western Diaspora (in Europe), however, he notes other customs such as turning towards the South (for wisdom) and the North (for abundance). This reflects the concept that the Temple Candelabrum representing wisdom was facing South and the Altar symbolizing riches was in the North of the Temple. However, R. Yoseph Caro (1488–1575), Shulkhan Arukh, Orach Hayyim 94,1 stipulates turning one's face in the direction of the Jerusalem Temple. The halachic commentators ad. loc. such as the Magen Avraham (R. Abraham Gombiner, 1635–1682), note that this is the reason that the ark is usually placed facing Jerusalem, however, if for any reason the ark is not in that direction one should nonetheless face Jerusalem while reciting the Amidah. 7. R. Isaiah Horowitz, (1565–1630), the Shelah, in his introduction to the siddur, explains, that when Jacob proclaims "This is the Gate of Heaven", it literally means that here is the gate through which prayers ascend. Wherever a Jew may be located, his prayers need to go up through this gate. Similarly, R. Yaakov Emden (1697-1776), in his introduction to his prayer book Beit Yaakov, "Ladder of Beit El", explains that although the Shekhinah, Divine Presence, is Omnipresent, prayer from the Diaspora does not go straight up to Heaven, but rather needs to travel via the Land of Israel – to Jerusalem – to the site of the Holy Sanctuary and only from there ascend to Heaven. 8. Finally, just as I was concluding my research to answer your question, I discovered http://www.koshercompass.com. In 2005, a "Jerusalem Compass" was invented with a magnetic needle always pointing towards Jerusalem (rather than to the North). It is marketed as a way to "know the direction of Jerusalem for prayer" and "to feel connected to Jerusalem, anywhere and anytime". Question: What is your view on child marriages?
The Rationale of Child Marriage & the Case for Early Marriage I was sent this question by JVO after the answers had been posted presenting the Reform and Conservative responses. Here I will present the halachic development and explanations for child marriage within Orthodoxy and examine the rationale for early marriage. A. Child Marriage – Historical, Halachic and Sociological Development 1. Girls Under Age 12: In Talmudic and Medieval times the father had the power of jurisdiction to marry off his young daughter from the day she was born until she reached age 12 (Shulkhan Arukh, Even HaEzer, Laws of Marriage, 37,1). This reflected social concerns necessitating early marriage, such as protecting young girls from minhag hefker, i.e. being taken advantage of by licentious opportunists (Talmud, Yevamot 112b). By the end of her 12th year a girl is considered an adult (gedolah) and has the right to decide whom to marry (Shulhan Arukh, Even HaEzer, 37,2; 43,1). The Rambam (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Ishut 3, 19) followed by R. Yosef Caro in the Shulkhan Arukh (Even HaEzer 37,8) both rely upon Kiddushin 41a to prove that a marriage should not be arranged before the daughter is 12.5 years old as before that she does not have the minimal maturity necessary to declare, "I want this fellow". However, in Ashkenazi communities, economic vicissitudes were a significant factor in encouraging early marriages. Tosafot (12th-13th century) on Kiddushin 41a writes: We commonly practice marrying off our daughters at a very young age because the hardships of exile grow daily and financial insecurity makes it difficult to know if we can obtain a dowry later, and there is a concrete danger that the daughter will remain a spinster. Similarly, the Ramah (R. Moses Isserles) disagrees with R. Yosef Caro: In practice, in our times, we do marry off our little daughters, because we are in exile and we do not always find it easy to obtain the necessary dowry. Furthermore, we are a Jewish minority in our towns and finding the proper marital match is often difficult (Shulkhan Arukh, Even HaEzer, 37,8). 2. Boys Age 13: At age 13 a boy is considered an adult (gadol or ish) - (Maimonides, Yad Hazakah, Ishut, 2,10) and only then was he permitted to marry (Even HaEzer, Kiddushin, 43,1). 3. Age 16: As social norms and definitions of "adulthood" changed, the marital age began rising. The National Rabbinical Conference held in Jerusalem in 1950 adopted a takkanah forbidding marriage for girls under age 16, but not nullifying such marriages once they were already made (e.g. with immigrants from Yemen). For further reading: see the entry "Child Marriage" written by Ben-Zion Schereschewsky and Menachem Elon in Encyclopaedia Judaica (Ed. M. Berenbaum and F. Skolnik), vol. 4, 2nd ed. Detroit, 2007, pp. 616-617. 4. Ages 16-18: R. Yosef Caro in Beit Yosef, Even HaEzer, 1,3, writes that marriage is a mitzvah incumbent on a male from age 18. He bases himself on the Mishnah (Avot 5, 21), although he notes possible alternative earlier ages of 16 or 17. Age 17 is currently the minimum age for marriage in Israel. Family courts can permit marriage of a girl under 17 to a man by whom she has had a child or is already pregnant, and for 16 year olds when they find "justifiable circumstances". Currently, a legislative lobby is seeking to raise the minimum age to 18 in order to alleviate problems seemingly exacerbated by early marriages.
Early marriage is encouraged in many Orthodox circles. One such community is a group of Breslov Hasidim led by Rabbi Eliezer Shlomo Schik in Yavniel in Galilee where marriages even for 16 year olds are encouraged with the intention of ensuring a life of holiness and diminishing the sexual anxieties of bachelorhood. While marriage of underage minors is a relict of the past, the new problem of today is "belated marriage". While the median age for a first marriage in the US in 1950-1960 was 20.3 for women and 22.8 for men, now it has jumped to 26.1 and 28.2 respectively. Furthermore, 20.4% of men ages 41-44 in 2010 were never married, whereas in 1970, it was merely 4.9%[1]. Late marriage is a factor in the crisis of Jewish continuity. The Jewish population growth world wide from 2000 to 2001 was close to zero - merely 0.3%. Women occupied in successful careers discover a ticking biological clock and lose the advantage of their most fertile years. Men prolong bachelorhood only to find that it too late to have a big family. While the world TFR total fertility rate[2] is just 2.55, American Jews have an incredibly low TFR of only 1.43. Contrast ultra-Orthodox Jews (Haredim) – in just six years from 2000-2006, they increased their share of American Jewry from 7.2% to 9.4%. Similarly, in Israel, the TFR for Jewish women was 2.97 in 2010. But for Ashkenazi Haredim, the TFR in 1996 was 8.51 and for Sephardi/Mizrachi Haredim 6.57. These statistics have profound import for the future of Israel including significant demographic implications[3]. In sum, early marriage reflects the debate about priorities and values. Jewish sources do have something to say about swinging the pendulum back to earlier rather than later marriages. But that is for a separate responsa. [1] These statistics are from 2010 based on the U.S. Bureau of the Census - www.census.gov. The number of unmarried women doubled with 13.8% of women aged 40-44 never married in 2010 compared to only 6.3% in 1970. Similarly, in Israel the median age for a first marriage in 2005 was 27.3 for men and 24.2 for women - Israeli census as cited in an article by Oz Almog and Sharon Horenstein - http://www.peopleil.org/details.aspx?itemID=7798
[2] The TFR of a population is the average number of children that would be born to a woman over her lifetime if she were to experience the exact current age-specific fertility rates through her lifetime, and survive from birth through the end of her reproductive life. [3] Compare for example the expectation that the Haredi camp will be a majority soon after 2050. See Beth Maclin, "Demographic Projections Predict Fundamentalist Populations Surpassing Secular Counterparts." News, Harvard University, Belfer Center for Science and International Affairs, February 13, 2009; Eric Kaufmann, "Shall the Religious Inherit the Earth?: Religiosity, Fertility and Politics,"http://www.sneps.net/research-interests/religious-demography Question: Is it “wrong” if I have no desire to live in Israel? I like my friends, family, community, job, etc. where I am now. I support Israeli causes, but I have absolutely no desire to pick up and live there
You say that you are happy where you are and have no desire to live in Israel. Yet you posted this as a question for JVO. Why? Is something perplexing you? Has someone preached to you saying that there is a mitzvah to live in the land of Israel or that for a couple of thousand years we have been praying to return to our homeland? Has a friend suggested that the natural habitat of the Jew is in the Holy Land? Has anyone tried to make you feel guilty that you don't get on a plane and visit here? I chuckled when JVO assigned me this question. There are more than 100 Rabbis listed as respondents on JVO, and very few of them live here in Israel. So why send this question to biased me? After all, I came on aliyah at age 21 as a religiously ideological Zionist. I came because I believe it is the best place for a Jew to live and raise a family. My siblings and parents eventually followed. All my children and grandchildren were born and live here.
So I was thinking, why is there such a gaping difference between us? Why do I feel an imperative desire to live here, yet you feel very comfortable in the Diaspora? Why do I feel it a punishment if I were required to reside in exile from our land, yet you are much happier there? Why are my friends, community and job here, while you have them only abroad? Is this engrained in destiny or written in the stars? Or is it a choice of free will and focused desire?
I readily admit that many people have legitimate explanations for not living in Israel. However, since you listed three points, I will respond accordingly.
1. The family factor can be crucial. For example, if you have an ailing parent whom you can't leave alone. But, community and job fluctuate over time. Should you move from one city to another, you will find new friends and jobs. Here too, you may very well find a congenial community and a job even more rewarding. But of course, this is very individual.
2. You ask if it is "wrong" not to actually move here since after all you do "support Israeli causes"? My answer is that some people volunteer for the front lines, while others applaud or support from the sidelines. Both activities are needed. It is not "wrong" or "right", but selecting what is truly best for you in the dramatic saga of the renewed romantic return of the Jewish people to Eretz Yisrael.
3. Most important, your "desire". My working assumption is that most Jews at some point naturally feel some sort of "pull" to be in Israel, even if only for a short time. I submit that if you have "absolutely no desire", it may be because you have not encountered the exciting and meaningful parts of life in Israel. Of course, it is your prerogative to conclude that Israel is not for you, but before judging, perhaps you might try Birthright, MASA, Nefesh BeNefesh or an exploratory pilot tour.
To conclude on a positive note, seeing that JVO sent this question to prejudiced me, here is an open invitation to JVO readers to contact me when you plan a visit. I would be happy to walk with you on the streets of Jerusalem, and introduce you to the beautiful parts of being here, combining the spiritual and physical. And perhaps I can invite you as my guest to the Sports Center with the giant windows overlooking the Temple Mount. Where else in the world can you work out while viewing panoramic Jerusalem - live?
Ezekiel 36,28: And you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your forefathers and you shall be My people and I will be your God.
Question: It is important to light Shabbat candles, but my husband comes home too late on Fridays to do this before sundown. What should we do?
I suggest that you select long lasting Shabbat candles that can burn for a few hours, and light them with a meaningful ceremony at the correct time, i.e. at least 18 minutes before sunset. When your husband arrives home, together you can inaugurate the Shabbat holiness, perhaps meditate on the Shabbat lights, and then sing Shalom Aleichem, Kiddush and the other Shabbat rituals. Lighting candles before sunset is a statement that we are putting a stop to the bustling weekday activities by entering a sanctified space of "no work" The Torah states, You shall not light fire in all your dwelling places on the day of the Shabbat (Exodus 35,3). Of all the 39 prohibitions of "melacha", work, this is the only one listed in the Torah explicitly.
Halachically, two distinct facets are essential to the Shabbat candles – the act of lighting and the enjoyment ofthe light. The first is Shabbat in actu, an actual lighting to delineate the entry of the Shabbat. This is implied in the commandment of Shamor as recorded in the Decalogue, Deuteronomy 5, 12-15: Shamor - "Observe the Shabbat day to keep it holy. Six days shall you work and do all your tasks. But the seventh day is a Shabbat unto the Lord your God. You shall do no manner of work".
However, there is also a command of Zakhor, stipulated in Exodus 20, 8-11, Zakhor – Remember the Shabbat. This implies the positive commandment of remembering the historical Shabbat of Creation and Revelation and is expressed verbally in Kiddush[1]
The custom of lighting two candles was instituted by Safed Kabbalists in the 16th century to represent these two distinct, yet complementary, elements of the Shabbat experience. Shamor entails observing the Shabbat by refraining from "work" such as lighting fires. This is symbolized in the kindling before sunset. Whereas, Zakhor ensures a proactive energy of the mitzvot of Shabbat, oneg Shabbat, expressing joy, enhancing our inner light, remembering our spirituality. Safed Kabbalists placed Shamor before Zakhor. Thus we sing in the hymn of Lecha Dodi, Shamor veZachor. One needs to first receive (lekabel as in the word kabbalah) the Divine Effulgence, and only afterwards, become active in the mode of Zakhor.
In sum, in reciting the blessing before the mitzvah of lighting the candles, you announce "Shamor", your readiness to receive the tranquility and illumination created through the Shabbat. Then, when your husband joins you, together you can create Zakhor, remembering the spiritual light symbolized in the candles creating both shalom bayit (harmony in the home) and oneg Shabbat (Sabbath joy).
May the joy of Shabbat lead you together to celebrate a harmonious Shabbat filled with Light of both Shamor and Zakhor.
[1] The Biblical commentator, Nahmanides, notes on this verse in Exodus 20, 8, that each term has its own realm of connotations. Zakhor refers to Love and is expressed in positive commandments such as remembering Shabbat by reciting Kiddush. Shamor refers to Awe and appears in negative commandments such as refraining from work (see also Maimonides, Laws of Shabbat, 29, 1).
Question: Where does the bracha of “shehechiyanu” come from? Who wrote it and when was it instituted?
Your inquiry is a valuable question because it calls forth an explanation of a little known phenomenon in the evolution of liturgical blessings during the formative period of Rabbinic Judaism, from 200 B.C.E. to 200 C.E. The early prototype of the shehechiyanu blessing had only four words, "Barukh shehigiyanu lazman hazeh". It was simply an expression of gratitude that "He enabled us to reach this moment in time". This is the formula found in the Kaufmann manuscript which preserves the early versionof Mishnah Berakhot 9,3 where building a house and acquiring new garments are mentioned. This is the wording in Talmud Yerushalmi, Berakhot, 9, 4 for new garments (quoted in the name of Rabbi Aha) and in Tosefta Berakhot ch. 6, 14 for building a new sukkah, and 6,15 for producing one's own tefillin, lulav or tzitzit. A working assumption in liturgical research is that Jewish prayers first developed in popular culture, folk custom and prayer assemblies, and later were standardized[1]. After the destruction of the 2nd Temple and the devastating blows of exile, rabbinical leaders began shaping ritual by encasing it with meaning and ensconcing observance in liturgical form. Blessings were standardized with the specific purpose of focusing thoughts and emotions.
Thus, the original 4 words were expanded into 12, and the blessing became known as Shehechiyanu. It was now applied to a variety of new situations – eating new fruits in their seasonal appearance, marking the annual arrival of festivals and ritual observances. Shehechiyanu was incorporated into the calendar of events for mitzvot such as blowing shofar, reading megilah, sitting in a sukkah, eating matzah and lighting Hannukah candles. The blessing came to include the full blessing formula with God's name and two new verbs. I suggest explaining the three key expressions as follows:
1. Shehechiyanu - That He has given us life, hinting at the primal form of birth.
2. Vikimanu And He is sustaining us, implying a continued existence, nourishment and perseverance over time.
3. Vehigiyanu lazman hazeh - That He has brought us to this time, to the specific present, the special moment in time.
Some medieval commentators have observed that each of the three verbs expresses a different conceptualization of gratitude. R. Eleazar Rokeach (1176 – 1238), in his commentary on the prayer book, HaRokeach, 361, explains that the three verbs parallel three distinct forms of praise and gratitude in the realms of soul, life, and essence as hinted at in Psalms 146, 1-2.
In conclusion, the Shehechiyanu blessing in its current form was instituted to fulfill multiple purposes that are not covered by other blessings. Shehechiyanu can be said to offer an opportunity for a heightened awareness of life, time and existence. In that sense, it is the most meditative of halachic blessings in that it focuses attention on the present moment in time, cultivates an appreciation of the fleeting presence and expresses recognition of a unique achievement. For those of us who have a meditative-prayer inclination, Shehechiyanu might be perceived today as a Jewish alternative to the popular Buddhist Vipassanā mindfulness practices. For those interested in more explanations, I have published a booklet on this subject and it is available from Natan@JewishMeditation.org.il [1] On the development of normative prayer liturgy see the classical book by Joseph Heinemann, Prayer in the Period of the Tannai'm and the Amora'im : Its Nature and Its Patterns, Jerusalem, 1978. For more recent scholarly research see the website of Dr. Tzvee Zahavy, http://www.tzvee.com/Home, and in particular, his article on the Politics of Piety http://www.tzvee.com/Home/the-politics-of-piety, and Studies in Jewish Prayer, http://www.zahavy.com/studies.html
The first exegetical attempt at explaining the Biblical roots of the Shehechiyanu blessing can be found in the 12th century midrashic compilation, Midrash Shekhel Tov (Genesis 22 and Exodus 12), where Shehechiyanu – "He has given us life", is derived from Deuteronomy 4,4, "You are clinging (hadevekim) to Hashem your God and thus you are Alive today".
Question: Do you think that sometimes there are things that a person should simply not do because it would compromise their beliefs too much? Or is there always a workaround?
Yes, there are some "things that a person should not do because it would compromise their beliefs". Laws and ethical principles determine boundaries and prescribe actions. But since most value systems are not absolute, "a workaround" as you call it, may be desired to reflect a higher truth or need. Does not an ambulance on duty zoom through red lights? A Talmudical formulation of this is found in tractate Yoma 85b where R. Yehudah in the name of Samuel explains why it is permissible to violate the laws of the Sabbath in order to save a human life. His reasoning is that the purpose of the Biblical commandments is "You shall live with them" (Leviticus 18,5), and not die because of them. I liked your expression of "a workaround". To be more certain of how it can be used, I found the following definition: "A bypass of a recognized problem in a system. A workaround is typically a temporary fix that implies that a genuine solution to the problem is needed. Frequently workarounds are as creative as true solutions, involving outside the box thinking in their creation". Indeed, when values clash, a "workaround" may be prudent. For example, "You should not lie". Yet, as described in the Talmud, tractate Babba Metziah 87a, God changed the wording of the "truth" for the sake of peace when He told Abraham that Sarah had laughed at the thought of her being able to give birth rather than mentioning Abraham's impotence (Genesis 18,12). From the perspective of moral theory, this is a Jewish version of "virtue ethics"."You shall not kill" is both a universal value and a Biblical commandment. Yet sometimes "killing" is necessary to save lives, eliminate evil and prevent calamity. That is what a "just war" is all about. Similarly, another one of the Ten Commandments states that "you shall not steal". But, in April 1943, when my great-grandfather was dying of starvation in the Nazi concentration camp Theresienstadt, would it not have been permissible to steal a piece of bread from his Nazi tormentors?To sum up, "a workaround" is laudable when meta-halacha, meta-ethics, and meta-value system mandate a solution. But maybe you are referring to "a workaround" that stems from laziness, character foibles or narcissistic indulgence. If so, the "workaround" is a deceptive camouflage for a weakness, and not an insightful "out of the box" discovery.As I am writing officially under the rubric of the "Orthodox response", I would conclude by saying, that Orthodox Judaism mandates a defined set of rules, restrictions and values to guide daily existence, yet it also incorporates built-in safeguards of flexibility and "workarounds" that allow a living Judaism to flourish and adapt to the world around us.
Question: Do you think we have we lost sight of the “original” tragedy of Tisha B’Av – the destruction of the Temple – in all of the more “modern” tragedies? Or is it supposed to be this way, since 9 Av is our national day of mourning, perhaps it’s natural that the tragedies of long ago are mourned less and less as time goes on.
I suggest distinguishing two types of mourning. The first type entails memories that pale as time passes. Do you recall the Massacre of the Jews of York in 1190? How about the destruction in 1391 of the Jewish communities of Spain? Probably not. Tragedies fade away. Time diminishes pain. Similarly, when a person mourns a relative, there is a gradual lessening of mourning from the immediate mourning of onan, to shivah (1st seven days) to shloshim (30 days) and finally to yahrtzeit (yearly observance). Memory dissipates. Time heals. However, there is a second type of mourning. It is functional and situational. It implies remembering a glorious setting that has vanished, grieving a beautiful intimacy that has been destroyed. Such mourning serves a different purpose. It keeps hope alive. It stimulates action to reconstruct a new and better home. It enjoins reflecting upon mistakes and learning from past errors. It provides a framework for dedicated work to recreate the idealized past. This type of mourning is a major function of Tisha b'Av. The prototype of Tisha b'Av is to remember our exile from Israel and the destruction of the Temple as a way of encouraging return, rebuilding and teshuva. Thus, today, when through our struggles we have returned to the land of our ancestors, rebuilt our sovereignty and can rejoice in Jerusalem, Tisha b'Av has acquired a totally new meaning. At weddings, a time of great joy and expectation, we break a glass and recite the verse from Psalms 137, 5-6, "If I Forget Thee, O Jerusalem let my right hand be forgotten…". This is based on the Talmudic mandate (Babba Batra 60b) interpreting the verse at the end of Isaiah (66,10) to mean that great joy is promised to those who both love and mourn Jerusalem. By remembering the past we give appreciation to the present and anticipate the future. This is a bridge over and beyond time that gives meaning to our joys in the present and inspirational comfort towards the future. I would like to address your question from my personal vantage point here in Jerusalem. I live on French Hill-Mt. Scopus, and every day, as I exercise in the sports center at the Hebrew U. gym, I can look out the window and see the Temple Mt. with the sweep of Jewish history, the mythological grandeur of the past and the utopian vision of the future. Breathing in the fresh air of Jerusalem, we are free to dance in the streets. Jeremiah 33, 10-11: In this place that you say is desolate, in the cities of Judea and in the outskirts of Jerusalem, the sounds of rejoicing and happiness will be heard … This is the prophecy of Zechariah 7,19 that the four Fast Days of mourning are destined to be transformed into a time of rejoicing, joy and holidays. Here in Israel, the memory of the Temple's destruction has taken on a new national ethos. Reciting the lamentations now gives poignant meaning to the Messianic anticipation. It is out of the darkness that we can envision the dawn of redemption. This is mourning over the lost "situation", and the goal is to restore the joy and grandeur. The restoration of national independence, the freedom to walk in Jerusalem, the pride in the revival of Jewish history, are all small steps towards the fulfillment of a grand Messianic vision of national purpose and spiritual meaning. Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach (1925-1994), the great singer and poetic story teller, described Tisha b'Av as a harbinger of utopian rejuvenation, a hope for renewed intimacy, an anticipation of Messiah:
Jerusalem, the Holy Temple, is where we are intimate with God. The Holy Temple is the headquarters for being close to God and to each other. But when the house is destroyed, there is no place to be intimate anymore. And gevalt! Are we longing and crying to be intimate with God …On Tisha b'Av the Messiah comes. On Tisha b’Av until the Six Million you only heard the sound of the destruction of the Temple; you could not hear the footsteps of the Messiah. Today, the voice of destruction gets further and further away, the voice of the coming of the Messiah gets closer and closer. The utopian message is that the whole world is being fixed as God’s holy intimacy comes back into the world and into our lives (Aug. 3, 1992, Congregation Kehillat Jacob News).
In this reinterpretation, Tisha b'Av is the harbinger of the utopian message that intimacy with God can be regained and with it the fixing of our lives and of the whole world. This then, is a "mourning" that is filled with hopeful joy. Thus, to answer your question, this type of Tisha b'Av is a "mourning" that is a harbinger of hopeful joy. Question: Do you think rabbis and educators in the Jewish community should take a more active role in sex education to newlyweds in light of stories coming forth about couples who can’t consummate their marriage because of certain painful gynecologic conditions?
Rabbis and educators who have the necessary expertise and qualifications can indeed help newlyweds. When couples "who can't consummate their marriage" are reluctant to seek help from therapists, the problem may be prolonged unnecessarily. One way that educators can help is by sharing their knowledge of the meanings of intimacy from a Jewish perspective and by dispelling erroneous beliefs of what Jewish tradition requires in halachic restrictions of modesty (tziniyut) and family purity (taharat hamishpacha). A recent trend in modern Orthodox circles is to have trained "hatan and kallah" counselors guide the young couple prior to marriage and suggest improved communication skills on the emotional-sexual level. In addition, they offer workshops to help develop positive sexual self-images and prevent post marriage sexual trauma, As to your question, I would suggest that many sexual difficulties are not purely “gynecological” or "medical"; they may also involve religious notions and emotional concerns. For example, the conditions of vaginismus and dyspareunia are often related to anxiety and fear of pain, which is frequently exacerbated by misleading religious assumptions. Concerns about modesty, inadequate knowledge about human sexuality and lack of a common language for discussing intimacy easily trigger for marital and emotional stress. The direction for a more encompassing solution is to begin to explore the sources in Judaism which deal with the sanctity of loving intimacy.
I will conclude with an example from an article that I wrote on conjugal intimacy in Kabbalah[1] as explained by R. Moshe Cordevero, the RaMaK[2]. RaMaK reprimands those who advocate pious sex by using the "hole in the sheet" method because they created an artificial separation between male and female and prevent a truly intimate union. RaMaK offers specific instructions how to arouse love, intimacy, and joy. He frames conjugal sex as a redemptive undertaking that creates harmony in both interpersonal relations and in the spiritual world of the Divine Sefirot. RaMaK details the Kabbalistic premises underlying physical-mystical sexual intimacy as essential to channeling erotic desire. Perhaps, this is an example of how already in 16th century Safed, there was a Rabbi taking an active role in sex education.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] Dr. Natan Ophir, "Meditative Instructions For Friday Night Conjugal Intimacy: Romantic Kabbalah in the Writings of R. Moshe Cordovero", Massekhet, vol. 10, October 2010, pp. 87-113 (in Hebrew), pp. 12-13 (English abstract). For a copy of the complete article please contact Natan@JewishMeditation.org.il
[2] , R. Moshe Cordovero (1522–1570) was one of the most prolific Kabbalist thinkers in Jewish history. In Ohr Yakar, his commentary to the Zohar, and in Tefillah LeMoshe, his commentary and meditative manual to the liturgy, RaMaK provides guidance on why, when and how to make love.
Question: I am a stock trader, and I want to live a balanced life of spirituality, wealth, and joy. In my field, the primary measure of success is the money that is made. However, is there a limit to how "successful" one should be? That is, if I am able to live a well-balanced life, is it ok for me to be driven to make more and more money? It's clear that if money takes you away from all the other important things in life then you become a slave to it and that is indeed very bad; but what if you are able to live a very balanced life and simply strive to make more and more as a consequence of your desire to strive for more success and abundance?
It seems that your answer is embedded in your question. When money is "driving" and enslaving, this is indeed detrimental. But if as you say, you are leading a "balanced life of spirituality, wealth and joy", then what could be wrong in striving "for more success and abundance"? Indeed, you chose to be a stock trader. Assuredly, you are good at your profession. So why not go for it? Why not become a "great trader" and use your wealth to lead a comfortable life, build a beautiful home, tithe your earnings, give tzedakah and do good in this world? Yet, since you have asked this question on JVO, perhaps you harbor a lingering suspicion of the potentially evil nature or seductive power of money? If so, why? Perhaps you are troubled by the well known accusation that "money is the root of all evil"? However, the source for this distrust of money is Christian. The New Testament, 1 Timothy 6, 9-11, says: But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness (King James Version). Due to the recent economic upheavals, this claim that "money is the root of all evil" has become a popular issue for debate (for example: www.helium.com and www.debatewise.coml). In contrast, money in Jewish tradition is not "the root of all evil" but rather a blessing. Material abundance is a reward bestowed on our forefathers in the Bible. True, there is self reflection about the utilitarian drive of acquiring money in Ecclesiastes (Kohelet), chapter 5, verse 9: "One who loves money will never be satisfied with money. And the person who loves over-abundance rather than (being satiated with) basic nourishment, this also is vanity (emptiness)". Kohelet warns us of the potentially insatiable drive for excessive material gains[1]. Some Rabbinic sayings warn against the problematic nature of wealth. Midrash Kohelet Rabbah 1,13, states: “One who has one hundred wants two hundred", meaning that financial greed is a futile enterprise for it is a perpetual drive with no real satisfaction. Avot 2,7, sums up the problem of excessive acquisitions – "More possessions, More worry". And the Mishnah in Avot 4,1 defines a person who is "truly rich" as one who is happy with his lot. Not surprisingly, this idea can be found in the Greek ethical morality known to Jewish philosophers and ethicists - Aristotle contrasted pleonexia, the restless desire for more, with autarkia, the tranquil self-sufficiency of the sage. However, Judaism does not elevate poverty to the status of an "ideal". Christian or Hindu ascetics might assume a vow of poverty, but not Jewish sages. The famous Hasidic figures such as Reb Zusha of Hanipol (Anipoli) (1718–1800) who lived in poverty, lived a contented, joyful and happy life despite their lack of material possessions and not because of it. The predominant view followed today in the Orthodox world is reflected in the practical advice of the Spanish philosopher/physician R. Yehudah HaLevi (1075–1141). In his magnum opus, The Kuzari, 2,50, he argues against the ascetic life style - "It is not an appropriate "service of God" to live with minimal material acquisition when a person can acquire wealth without over-exerting himself and without harming his learning of the Divine Wisdom and doing good deeds. Certainly, this is the case for a person who has children to support or if his purpose is to use the money "for the sake of Heaven". For a person like this, wealth acquisition is commendable". In sum, I suggest that as "a great trader" you open yourself up to receive the Divine Blessings of abundance with sincerity, honesty and devotion. In the Shema, recited twice daily, we read in Deuteronomy 11, 13-21 about the blessings of material abundance. So also, in the Grace After Meals, we ask: May He send us abundant blessing to this house and upon this table at which we have eaten". Money can be a tool to spread happiness, kindness, and munificence. After completing the atonement service on Yom Kippur, the High Priest offered a prayer requesting a year of bounty, success and financial independence. This is the "Torah of Money" approach to view our material resources through the prism of Well-Being, Hesed (loving kindness) and Gevurah (Strength). Further Reading: 1. A summary of the Jewish approach to avarice can be found in Rabbi Gil Student's blog, "Is Greed Good?" May 11, 2011.
2. Dr. Meir Tamari, “Jewish Ethics, the State and Economic Freedom” in (ed.) R. Aaron Levine, The Oxford Handbook of Judaism and Economics, Oxford, 2010, pg. 469: “Judaism does not see poverty as spiritual or desirable, nor the creation or increase of private individual wealth as evil or immoral.” 3. Robert and Edward Skidelsky, How Much is Enough: Money and the Good Life (forthcoming in 2012). [1] The Hebrew term hamon denotes "too much" and the word tevuah (literally grain) implies basic life nourishment. The word hevel means vapor or breath, but Kohelet uses it metaphorically with a semantic range of evanescent and meaningless. Question: Is it true that Orthodox [and other] Jews are not allowed to hear a woman's singing voice? Does this rule out broadway shows, opera, and concerts? A woman's voice seems rather innocuous...what's the deal? How can this be so if Judaism values women so highly?
Indeed, as your question indicates, many Orthodox Jews do refrain from listening to a woman's singing voice. The prohibition is part of a cultural-religious value system intended to foster modesty (tzniut). In Hebrew, the specific term is "Kol Isha Erva", attributing sexual quality to the female voice, and is derivative from a Talmudic statement by the 1st generation Amora, Shmuel (tractate Berakhot 24a and Kiddushin 70a). Some medieval authorities limited the prohibition to promiscuous love songs, however the classical texts of Jewish law (halakha) codified women's singing as part of a general modesty directive (Rambam, Issurei Biah, 21, 2 and R. Yosef Karo, Shulkhan Arukh, Even HaEzer, 201,1). This division of opinion continues today. Many aim at minimizing sexual temptations. For example, Rabbi Ben Cherney views this prohibition "as protection against a breakdown of sancity" ("Kol Isha", Journal of Halacha and Contemporary Society, vol. 10, pp. 57-75; http://www.jofa.org/pdf/Batch%201/0099.pdf). For Rabbi Howard Jachter the Kol Isha prohibition is an antidote to "deterioration of the moral standards of western society" (Kol Torah - Torah Academy of Bergen County Feb. 2, 2002 http://koltorah.org/ravj/The%20Parameters%20of%20Kol%20Isha.htm).
A lenient position however, is advocated by Rabbi Avraham Shammah, from the Herzog Institute in Alon Shevut. He suggests defining parameters of tzniut by context, culture and norms (Jan. 16, 2008,"Kol BIisha erva in a Contemporary Perspective", translated into English - http://www.kolech.org.il/show.asp?id=25318). Similarly, Rabbi David Bigman, of the religious Kibbutz Ma'ale Gilboa, rules that it is permissible to listen to women singing when there is no sexual provocation and criteria of modesty are observed - "Only singing intended for sexual stimulation, or flirtatious singing, is forbidden" (July 2008, http://www.ynet.co.il/english/articles/0,7340,L-3567666,00.html
For a 2010 summary of the discussion see Michael Makovi, "A New Hearing for Kol Ishah", Institute for Jewish Ideas and Ideals http://www.jewishideas.org/articles/new-hearing-kol-ishah
The upshot is that while it is rare to find ultra-Orthodox men at Broadway shows and concerts, the Modern Orthodox community is divided, and many do participate in such cultural-musical events. One measure of this division can be seen in the responses on a site set up by a Lubavitch woman named Yael Cozocaru. Yael asked: Do you allow mixed singing at your Shabbat table? Of the 100 mothers who responded, 49% said: "My daughters would never dream of singing at a mixed table; they've been taught it's against halacha", and another 9% discouraged their daughters, while 27% encouraged their daughters to sing and 13% didn't mind. (http://www.imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1519996).
The ramifications of this dilemma are reflected in a 2008 newspaper article by Einat Barzilai about the new phenomenon of Orthodox women singers who perform on stage (Maariv, Aug. 15, 2008 http://www.nrg.co.il/online/1/ART1/773/274.html). Barzilai takes note of several Orthodox female singers who do sing before mixed audiences such as Neshama Carlebach, Karni Eldad, Liat Yitzhaki and Basya Schechter (the latter grew up in a religious environment in Borough Park, Brooklyn but today is the lead singer of the neo-Hasidic band "Pharaoh's Daughter" - http://pharaohsdaughter.com). However, Barzilai also interviewed women singers who have found value in singing for women only. Ora Barness from Jerusalem explains: "I wish to keep my performances in an intimacy of women only. There is so much lewd behavior that we have lost our sensitivity to beauty and forfeited the purity of sexuality". Similarly, Odelia Berlin (daughter of the famous clarinet musician Musa Berlin) is soloist of "Tefillah LaDerekh", a troupe of six women musicians aged 26-33. She explains the advantages of performing only before women: "There is a softer type of energy and an inner strength lacking in male audiences". Berlin's mother adds: "We want to sing only for women. This is not a feminist statement, but rather a spiritual one. We women desire to come closer to God on our own without male interference and intervention"!! Question: What does Jewish law say about coping with spousal addiction to cybersex for 10 years in a 20 year marriage? (The addict was deceitful and betrayed trust.)
Your question is very good. We can find many discussions in Jewish law and ethics about adultery, deceit and betrayed trust but not about cybersex addiction. At first glance, it might seem that cybersex is not as problematic a form of infidelity as real life adultery. However, this can be misleading. The Internet's ubiquitous freedom can propel the user into a fantasy world. Here virtual personas can realize thwarted desires and fulfill poignant needs. The easy accessibility of the World Wide Web offers charmingly deceptive opportunities for camouflaged intimacy. Cybersex offers immediate stimulation and instant gratification. But it tends to objectify the participants, reducing them to body parts and pornographic pictures while maintaining the secret thrill of an incognito façade. Does your spouse view this as a "harmless pastime"? Or perhaps deep inside he/she would really prefer a healthier alternative? If the latter, then perhaps you can find an opening to gently guide your marital partner to a systematic recovery plan. In coping with "betrayed trust" in a 20 year marriage, the question is how extensive is the damage. Is the relationship irrevocably torn? If not, then the preferred choice in Jewish law is to try and restore marital harmony, "shalom bayit". Rabbinical courts will usually encourage the couple to search for more effective ways of communicating, sharing and rapprochement. If that is the direction you choose, your empathetic understanding of the motivating factors leading to your partner's "addiction" become a crucial component. A focal point for halachic discussions on addictions is the Maimonidean description of free will in Mishneh Torah, Laws of Teshuva (Return/Penitence), chs. 5-6, where he explains the gradual loss of free choice in addictive behavior. However, another more optimistic psychological theme has also permeated halachic thinking. It is based on the statement of the Talmudic sage Resh Lakish (himself a former gladiator) in tractate Yoma 86b, that even intentional iniquities can be transformed into merits. This radical concept of "teshuva" was developed by R. Hasdai Crescas (1340-1411), chief Rabbi of Spain responding to the massive wave of conversions to Christianity in 1391. In the 20th century it was propounded by Rav Avraham Yitzchak Hacohen Kook (1865-1935), the first Chief Rabbi of Palestine, in his book "Lights of Return". R. Kook's underlying kabbalistic purpose is to discover the spark of holiness embedded in the sin, and transform it into a force for goodness and strength. In your example of cybersex, the motivating spark is often an essential human yearning for intimacy. The redemptive power of "teshuva" can channel this Eros to a sanctified purity. Then your marital relationship will thrive. The bottom line: Is this particular case of cybersex preoccupation irreparable? Or is there a chance to renew the romantic spark that initially brought you together? Perhaps it is still possible to transform the iniquity of cybersex into a catalyst for rejuvenating marital joy?
|
|
LATEST BLOGS view all blog entries
National Slow Cooking MonthPosted on 12/31/2019 by Marcia Goldlist in Beliefs and Practices
January is National Slow Cooking Month. A slow cooker, also known as a Crock Pot (the way that tissues are known as...
A Halachic View of ‘Freedom of Religion’Posted on 12/24/2019 by Rabbi Ben Hecht in Holidays
It’s Chanukah time and Jews, around the world, are again celebrating this holiday which is said to mark our...
Why You Should Know the Name of Beatie DeutschPosted on 12/20/2019 by Marcia Goldlist in Beliefs and Practices
Beatie Deutsch may not be a household name, but she should be. She is a running dynamic who moved to Israel from the United...
I Haven’t Owned A TV Since 2001Posted on 12/19/2019 by Rivkah Lambert Adler in Beliefs and Practices
When I go back to the US for a visit, I am overwhelmed by the ubiquitousness of television in public spaces. I hear it...
When Anti-Semitism Is InconvenientPosted on 12/15/2019 by Moshe Daniel Levine in Beliefs and Practices
So it turns out that non-white supremacist anti-Semitism could be deadly in America. Who would have thought? It...
Wright Brothers DayPosted on 12/15/2019 by Marcia Goldlist in Beliefs and Practices
You may wonder what you can do in just twelve seconds. Could you make history? Could you even make dinner in that amount of...
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
JVO Panel of Scholars
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
Jewish Values Online
Home | Search For Answers | About | Origins | Blog Archive Copyright 2020 all rights reserved. Jewish Values Online N O T I C E
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN ANSWERS PROVIDED HEREIN ARE THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL JVO PANEL MEMBERS, AND DO NOT
NECESSARILY REFLECT OR REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE ORTHODOX, CONSERVATIVE OR REFORM MOVEMENTS, RESPECTIVELY. |